Hippie Chick

Old Stuff

2011-08-21T00:25:00.000-05:00

Jake is out of town hanging out with his Army buddies for his monthly drill. All the kids are in bed. House Hunters International isn't on. It is nights like this that I like to go back through and look at old pictures.

Like this...

This blurry picture is the first time I held my first child. He was almost 2 weeks old. I still remember exactly what I was wearing and how it felt like I wasn't holding anything at all.

This is the day he finally broke the 4 pound mark. See how big his pants are? They were preemie sized. His poor little head was so misshapen; they called him toaster head at the pediatrician's office.

After Spencer came home from the NICU, my sister, who lived with us until Spencer was 3, was a huge help. Jake was still deployed and I was beat. She took over for me this morning so I could go pump. I love this picture of them.

One day, we're going to play a game of "Spencer or Fin." I'm amazed at how much those two look alike. These were taken by a high school classmate of mine, Kyle McLaughlin, for Spencer's first birthday.

Fin's version is just a bit more chunky.

One of the most fun things that I've ever done is the road trip I took with Spencer when he was two. We went to St. Louis, Indianapolis, Washington D.C., Roanoke, and Nashville. Basically a big circle. While we were there, Spencer, who was very newly 2, was in the midst of his obsessive stroller pushing phase.

At Grant's Farm in St. Louis

On the hotel balcony in Indianapolis

At the Lincoln Memorial

Going to get it at the Iwo Jima Memorial

Finally consented to ride due to exhaustion.

For Halloween that year, Spencer wanted to be Elmo. He was so excited. Then I pulled the costume (which was $60 b/c I forgot to order it and had to overnight it) out of the box and he was terrified. Once we convinced him to put it on he was fine, but it was sheer terror up to that point.

He was much more pleasant the next year when he was a "big wide mouth frog."

Ugliest costume ever? Perhaps.

37 weeks pregnant with Jack, I loved every minute.

What can I say about Jack?

He's going to be a person all his own, I can tell.

He isn't a risk taker.

He is, however, fiercely opinionated. When he doesn't get his way and he cries, he is so loud that you want to do whatever you can to MAKE IT STOP. He rules through terror.

But he is also a lover. He mainly loves his daddy with me coming in a good second.

39 weeks pregnant with Fin and the reason I'll eventually need a tummy tuck.

Poor Fin. Spencer has 2 albums with almost 300 pictures. Jack has one album with roughly 100 pictures. Fin's album has 7 pictures in it. I'm going to work on that.

Fin is still figuring out who he is.

He's a lot more laid back than Jack ever thought about being as a baby.

He'll let strangers talk to him, which is really nice.

I'll tell you one thing, though, this kid will be my daredevil.

And now I'm tired.

While I Was Out...

2011-07-15T23:53:00.000-05:00

One day in February, Jake and I were sitting at our computer, at our only computer, working on our budget. As we were hashing things out, and occasionally freaking out, a little 23 month old boy crawled over and pushed the power button. The computer went dark.

When Jake tried to turn it back on, we got the blue screen of death. A lot of people think black is the color of death, but I'm here to tell you, the color of death is blue.

Many thanks to Jake's brother, who got our computer running again.

Just as I was about to get into the hang of blogging again, Fin spilled a beer all over our keyboard (that was Jake's story, anyway). Now the keys stick something fierce, so if I end up typing a whole bunch of letters in a row or something, you know why. I have beer-keys.

So while I was out, we had a lot going on.

1. Jack turned 2!

Now that I've had all my children, Jack's birth is going to go down as my favorite. Well, as favorite as something like that can be. So I was happy to celebrate having him around for another year.

He is really a character. He doesn't talk much, in fact he talks VERY little, but he understands every word out of your mouth and has developed his own little sign language to get his needs met just fine thankyouverymuch. He doesn't scream at strangers anymore. In fact, at the grocery store last week he waved at every single person we passed. Literally. And he was wearing cowboy boots and a train hat while he did it. Cuteness overload.

That means "2."

2. Fin got mobile.

I'm not sure that Fin was doing anything besides sitting around looking cute as of my last post. My how things change.

It seemed like he went from doing nothing to doing everything at once. Several weeks after he learned to roll over, he started working on crawling. When he started crawling, he pulled up for the first time in the same week. He took his first steps in his 8th month and was walking full time two weeks later.

Both the other boys walked right around the year mark, so for Fin to start walking so much earlier is such a strange thing for me. I mean, he's a baby still!

My mover and shaker on the beach (which he hated) last month.

3. Spencer finished Kindergarten.

How is that even possible?

How did this:

Turn in to this:

???

That is a first day and last day of school comparison shot there. In the first he looks so shy and uncertain. He just looks like a brat who didn't want his picture taken in the second. I caught him at a relatively good spot between him yelling, "No Mommy, I hate pictures! Don't take my picture!"

But he was promoted to first grade and that's what is important. Today he asked when he would have to go and I told him in a month and he freaked out. My biggest hope is that the beginning of first grade won't be what the beginning of Kindy was for him.

4. Jake got a new love in his life.

That would be his new shiny, big, so tall that I have to jump to get in it, company truck. I don't have any pictures to offer you of that, but I'm sure I could dump his phone and find a few.

I guess he got two new loves as, now that he's got a big truck, he's been going fishing a lot. Which is fine with me b/c we struck a deal that said once he's gone fishing five times, I get a night alone in a hotel. Sweet deal.

I guess those are all the really big things.

Hopefully I can get back in the swing of things and keep blogging on my radar. We'll see.

Terrorists

2011-02-08T09:07:00.000-06:00

I'm not a fan of terrorists. (Please note that government agent who is reading this: I don't like them!)

I don't like the terrorists that blow up buildings and I don't like the kind that make my life difficult through acts of terrorism.

Lately, there has been a terrorist in my life, controlling me through excessive tantruming and screaming. I have a picture of him. Hold on and I'll show you...

Although, at this point, his face is clean and his hair has been cut.

I'm sure that it sucks to be a pre-verbal toddler. I assume that you have all these pent up thoughts and wants and words inside you and you just can't make your mouth move the right way to tell someone about it. I'm almost positive that it is frustration that leads to some of the tantruming.

I'm here to tell you, it sucks to be the parent of a pre-verbal toddler as well. It is constant vigilance and, occasionally, surrender to the tantruming party.

But some of his tantrums are simply caused by the fact that he emerged from my body knowing exactly what he wanted, when he wanted and from a very early age, he has worked to get it.

I'm a big believer that I, as his mother, am responsible for teaching him how to deal with big emotions. Punishing him for having them probably wouldn't do anything but teach him to bottle them up and not share them with me, which I would think could have far reaching implications when he's older. So we talk. And talk. And talk. And I try to help him label his big emotions and process his anger or sadness or disappointment so that, when he becomes verbal, he can look at me and say, "Mommy, I'm angry!"

Or, you know, "Mommy, I hate you!" Whatever.

Walters' Family Terminology

2011-02-03T20:36:00.000-06:00

We use a lot of code around here. Today I was talking to a co-worker and I used one of our phrases and she looked at me strangely. It took me a minute to figure out that I had thrown a term in there and she had no clue what I was talking about. So it got me thinking about all the things we say that are our "code."

One: This is what we sometimes call Spencer.

Two: Jack

Three: Fin

The bigs: Spencer and Jack

The littles: Jack and Fin (my poor Jack, always stuck in the middle)

Winka: Spencer

Tuna Roona: Jack

Finna: Fin

Skank-muffin: What Jake sometimes calls me when he sees me come out wearing some article of his clothing. I like to think this means, "Oh dear wife! You look so adorable when you wear my things!" Jake said that's not an accurate description. Judging by the way he tends to be shooting daggers at me when he says it, he may be telling the truth.

Kentucky Fried Chicken: Rice Krispy Treats. On Tuesday, during our snow day, I made rice krispy treats. By the time dinner rolled around, they were gone. Jake, with a look of indignation on his face, said, "I can't believe you guys ate all the Kentucky Fried Chicken already! I barely even got some!" I was SO confused. I can't remember the last time we had KFC in the house. It didn't even register to Jake that he had said Kentucky Fried Chicken until he saw the perplexed look on my face. Then he corrected himself, "I meant rice krispy treats." And from that day forward, rice krispy treats became known as Kentucky Fried Chicken.

This: As in, "Take this baby from me before I go insane."

Eatin' spaghetti: What you say when someone asks you what you are doing when it is really obvious what you are doing.

To the gypsies!: Where I tell the bigs I'm going to send them when they're being naughty.

THE LIST: The compilation of people, both male and female, that we'd allow the other party to stray for. THE LIST is primarily made up of celebrities.

Mommy/Daddy Fun Time: The time between when the kids go to bed and when the adults go to bed.

Sunshine: Any horse. My grandmother has a horse named Sunshine and as soon as Jack learned to say it (which sounds something like Rye-Rye), all horses were bequeathed with that name.

The stinkers: Poop.

Bee Boo: Belly button.

Beards: Beer. We have Spencer's slight speech impediment to thank for that one.

There is your Walters' lexicon. No more perplexed looks allowed.

Easily Forgotten, Easily Remembered

2011-01-30T13:30:00.000-06:00

I have reached the point in my journey as Spencer's mother that I don't think about his early arrival every day anymore. His NICU scars, and there are plenty, are just another part of him and although I can remember, acutely, if I want to, why they are there, I typically don't. His early arrival will always be with me, but in the last few years that I've been in the trenches raising two full term and healthy boys, things have gotten pushed back into the recesses of my mind. They just don't surface too often these days.

Someone posted a link to this, however, and it is amazing to me how something like this can cause a flood of memories.

I cried. Because, even though the song is cute and upbeat, the sights and sounds and smells hit me in the face like they'd been waiting to do it the last two years.

I worked very hard to be stoic during Spencer's NICU stay. Jake always says that we Howard girls (referring to me and my two sisters) are stones under pressure but will weep copiously over little things, and he's right. It feels a lot safer to me to process some of the things relating to his birth now that not only am I a safe distance from it, but I've also had two big babies naturally at home.

I think I'll always be processing. Maybe that is the nature of the thing.

How did I get so lucky?

2011-01-23T14:40:00.000-06:00

I love my job.

Love.

Love, love, loveity love.

I don't think I could've imagined a smoother first week.

Jack and Fin did great with Kibbin. Jack only cried one day and I'm pretty sure that is b/c I put him into her car instead of walking him into her house (her driveway is long, hilly, and rocky and with the snow we got, I just didn't trust my car to make it). I'm pumping enough for Fin each day and he's taking the bottle with no issue. Spencer was out of school two days last week, but he went to Cynthia's house the other three and did just fine. And on that note, he's actually going to get to ride the bus to the library each day and hang out with me until Jake comes to get him from now on.

Job wise, I love what I'm doing. A lot of it is just creative, brainstorming type stuff, coming up with events for the teens to do. I worked on a huge book order this week and we have just under 200 books coming in to our section soon. My next order will be playaways and then DVDs. I'm also working on getting the gaming system set up. I have an awesome budget to do it with and it is going to be a really great attraction once I get it going.

Like I said, love.

Here's To New Beginnings

2011-01-17T07:00:00.001-06:00

I feel like I'm starting a whole new chapter in my life, and it is bittersweet.

My last day at Mother's Day Out was Thursday and I'm so sad to leave. I've been very lucky that I have been sad to leave many of the jobs that I've had. Even though I was sick of teaching when I left North Little Rock in 2008, I was still sad to go. (And really I wasn't sick of teaching so much as I was sick of naughty kids, LOL.) I was sad to leave the Even Start program before that.

But this is a different kind of sad. The women that worked with me at MDO are seriously one in a million. They weren't just my co-workers, they really became my friends. It was such a family friendly place to work and, as any working mother knows, that makes a huge difference in your attitude.

It is also bittersweet b/c I'll be leaving 2/3 of my children for the first time. Little Fin, well, he probably won't really know the difference. He sleeps so much of the afternoon that he'll probably only be awake half the time that he's with the sitter (who is my awesome friend, Kibbin).

But Jack, that is where the bulk of my anxiety lies. Jack knows Kibbin. He's been to her house many times for play dates. But he is not a fan of being left unless it is with three people: my grandmother, Jake's mother, and his daddy (who is probably Jack's favorite person in the world).

I know he'll be fine. He'll cry for 5 minutes and then go play with Cole and Ty, Kibbin's kids. I'm sure he'll have a blast. But I sure hate to rock his little world like this. It makes me feel bad.

On Friday, I went and turned all my new hire paper work in. The woman who took it, Deeta, was so very nice. She gave me all my keys and took me on a tour of the library. You know, all the stuff that patrons aren't privy to. The facility is so nice. I mean, I knew that as someone who uses the library, but once you get back into it it is even more impressive.

I got to go into my office and poke around. I have an attached storage room that is going to be perfect for pumping. No one even batted an eye when I said I'd need to, which is great.

Everyone I met was super nice and they all expressed excitement in getting to work with me. I'm excited too! I just hope I can live up to their expectations.

Today is my first day. Wish me luck!

Snow Day

2011-01-15T09:00:00.005-06:00

I have to say, I'm a bit perplexed by this season's snow offerings. This is my third winter here and it is the first time that not only have we NOT gotten snow in December (like, at all), but the Little Rock area got snow before us. Weird.

Poor Spencer, he's been asking when the snow would be here since November. And we told him in December. But December came and went with no snow to be had. So when we got an inch (a whole inch!) on Sunday night, he was thrilled. And, for whatever reason, they canceled school on Monday, so he couldn't wait to get out and play. I'm pretty sure he was having dreams of snow ice cream and building snow men, but what materialized wasn't quite as majestic.

I think he forgot snow is cold.


"Mommy, I'm cold!"

Yes, Mother-of-the-Year over here didn't put him in gloves/mittens. We've lost one from last year's set and I wasn't fully convinced we'd get anything worth phoning home about, so I didn't pick up a new set. On a bright note, the hat I made for Jake last year finally found a home on Spencer's head.

Jack was having a pretty good time, though.

That is, until he fell.

Please note that these pictures were taken from the comfort of our bonus room with my camera lens stuck out the sliding glass door.

The Day That Jack Had Hair Like That Guy From The Cure

2011-01-14T10:43:00.000-06:00

Seriously.

Adventures in Baking: My Birthday Cake

2011-01-13T16:48:00.000-06:00

Happy birthday to me! I turned the big 28 this week. I simply cannot believe how close I am to 30. I remember, when my youngest sister was born, thinking to myself, "I'll be 30 when she graduates from high school! That's so old!" Well, 30 is now breathing down my neck and it doesn't seem so old any more. Funny how that happens.

Anyway, I haven't had a birthday cake in years. Partially b/c I'm a perpetual dieter, but partially b/c, well, I don't really know why. But this year I wanted one. Specifically something strawberry shortcake like.

I had some heavy whipping cream and a box of french vanilla cake mix hanging out, so I thought I'd use those. I ran to the store and grabbed a box of strawberries, so obviously out of season with their $5 price tag. Ouch.

I also wanted my cake to be kind of fancy and, to me, a layer cake is always fancy. I'm high class, you know.

So into the oven my two round cake pans went, and out came this:

Poor Spencer was beside himself with anticipation. So much so that, once I turned them out to cool, I came back to a mysterious little hole in the side of one. Wonder how that happened.

I mixed up the whipping cream with some sugar and a touch of vanilla (the real stuff only, no imitation in this house). I used to hate whipping the whipping cream, but my new mixer has really made things easy. Love it.

I placed one cake on a plate, put a layer of my grandmother's strawberry jam down (yum, she should really sell that stuff), a layer of whipped cream, another cake, another layer of whipped cream, and then placed strawberries around the edge on the top.


Yummy

This is some serious goodness.

As thrilled as Spencer was about this cake, I don't think he really liked it too much. He ate maybe half a piece and hasn't asked for another.

I love it, though. My waistline will be happy when it is all gone.

The Last of the Firsts

2011-01-08T21:22:00.000-06:00

Tonight, Fin rolled over for the first time. My first thought was, "Its all over now! The mobility has begun!" But my second was, "This is the last time I'll have a baby to experience these firsts with."

That isn't to say that we don't still have firsts left. All the boys do. Fin will probably start experiencing them in rapid succession soon. And of course we have first days of Kindergarten left (may they be better than Spencer's, please!), first days of middle school, first days of (*weep*) high school. Graduations. Weddings.

Ok, I better stop there before I really upset myself.

But my baby firsts are numbered. Very numbered. And I'll never get to experience them as a mother again.

That makes me sad.

It feels very strange to me, the fact that I know I'll never have another baby. I can't say that I'm sad about it, at least not the majority of the time. I'd say that 51% of the time I'm happy to be done and think that our family feels very complete. Those are usually the days when we are all still in our pajamas at 2 pm b/c the boys are so wild or when I was up half the night with someone who was sick or simply refusing to sleep. I still want to make the sign of the cross thinking about this time last year when Jack was up, literally, hourly to nurse.

Days like today, though, fall into the 49% when I think I'd have 10 babies if Jake would let me. We were still in our pjs at 2 pm, but it was b/c we were having a lazy day. Spencer and Jack were playing fairly well together. They watched a movie. Fin was super pleasant, even taking a passie and putting himself down for his nap. I sat at the computer, drinking a cup of tea and browsing a Hunger Games forum (don't judge me). We went to the store where everyone was quite well behaved and happy. Jack even put himself to sleep without someone laying down with him for the second night in a row (please, God, let that continue, Amen.).

I think that with time, maybe, I'll feel "done" all the time. Once everyone is out of diapers and I can sleep in on a Saturday morning. Or when I get to sleep all night without someone trying to nurse or climb into bed with me. Or when they are big enough to go stay with grandma so Jake and I can take a nice adult vacation. Maybe then.

Opportunity

2011-01-04T10:59:00.000-06:00

Living where I live, the opportunity to work in my field (secondary education) doesn't often present itself. I think in the almost three years that I've lived here, I've seen one job opening for a junior high social studies position. The big district here has had several opening in the social studies, but they all had coaching attachments so I was never even called to interview.

When we first moved here in 2008, I was pretty sure I never wanted to go back to teaching, but over time I discovered that I really missed working in a professional field. I started pondering the idea of going back to work full time when Jack was about 6 months old, but pondering doesn't get you a job.

I've been working part time at our local Mother's Day Out program almost as long as I've lived here and I've loved pretty much every minute of it. It has been a job that allowed me to meet people in a town where it wouldn't have been very easy to do so otherwise. I met two of my closest friends there. My boss is amazing and doesn't blink an eye when you have a sick kid and have to stay home, even when you only work two days a week and have one kiddo sick on Thursday and the other sick on Monday.

Even so, I couldn't shake the feeling that I wanted to work in my field.

In an attempt to springboard off of my education degree, I decided about six months ago that I wanted to pursue my master's degree in library and information science. I found a great program at the University of North Texas that is all online and started readying myself to apply, although I knew I wouldn't be able to start until Fall '11. If I couldn't be actively working in my field, this was a great other option.

Then, God stepped in.

A few weeks ago, I was browsing our local classifieds online. For some reason, the listings were all jumbled that day and the employment section was full of car advertisements. If I clicked on a field, like education, though, the true job listings would pop up.

The middle listing of the three was an ad stating that the county library, the brand new, state of the art, amazing county library, was looking for a teen librarian. I couldn't get my resume together fast enough.

But I was worried. I'm not a true librarian. I don't have an MLS degree. All I've been is a teacher. I've never even worked in a library beyond my "library aid" duties in the seventh grade.

I submitted my resume anyway and, two days later, was granted a job interview. A week later, I was invited to attend a second interview. A week and a half after that, I was offered the position.

Excited doesn't even begin to cover how I feel about this job. I think it will be stimulating and fun and absolutely perfect. I can't wait to jump into it, feet first.

January 17th, here I come.

The Walters' Year In Pictures

2010-12-31T09:00:00.010-06:00

January

February

March

April

May

June

July

August

September

October

November

December

Solicitors of the World:

2010-12-18T12:03:00.000-06:00

Take note!

It is best not to solicit women who come out of the grocery store with carts that look like this:

He was blowing out something he perceived to be hot (in this case, car exhaust, LOL).

And arms that each look like this:

I assure you her main goal is to get into her car with as much speed as possible, especially if either of her children are crying. Trying to get her to stop to give you time and/or money is not in your best interest if you want to get through the day without being verbally assaulted.

Thanks for your time and attention to this matter.

Naturally.

2010-12-14T10:21:00.000-06:00

Amidst all the drama of last weekend (you know, husband gone, kids sick, yadda, yadda...) we had another bit of excitement thrown in the mix.

Naturally.

Picture it: You've just walked into your house after hauling 3 kids to the Wal-Mart clinic (think practically no waiting room and no place for kids to sit in the examining room, basically chaos) and to the pharmacy (where despite being first in line your prescription still takes a half hour to fill).

So you've just come in the door and are peeling coats off of two kids who are running around like wild banshees while trying to get the screaming baby out of his car seat. At this point, one of your kids (the toddler, so it is extra cute) crouches down next to the kitchen table and points, laughing hysterically. You had seen the cat run by but you can't quite figure out why he's laughing at the cat, who he sees zooming around the house most of the day.

Then, the warning cry by your kindergartner: "Mommy, Poo Kitty has a mouse!"

No way, you think.

You crouch down to check and, sure enough, there is a mouse doing his very best to run away from this large orange predator. You expected to see something grotesque and rat-like, but instead you see something that, being the softie you are, you want to protect: a cute, teeny, brown mouse. Unfortunately, you don't want to protect it enough to let it roam free in your house, so out it must go.

You make a panicked phone call to your husband, who laughs at you, enjoying your high pitched freak out voice. You wag your fist of fury at him and hang up the phone. HOW are you going to get this thing out of the house?

Suddenly, the cat makes a power play and snatches the mouse up in his mouth, turning to stare at you as he does so.

A moment of brilliance: Get the cat to take the mouse outside.

You run to the door and throw it open, calling "Poo Kitty, come outside! Come on, kitty! Come outside!" He looks at you like you've lost your mind. You plead with him in your mind not to drop the mouse. Finally, after several minutes of coaxing, he carries the mouse outside.

Victory!

The worst part: the animals were locked in the house, so the mouse came from somewhere on the inside.

Oy.

The Plague

2010-12-11T13:07:00.002-06:00

I was going to make a new post about the book series I'm reading, but the plague has apparently infected my house so I decided to write about it instead.

To begin, Jack has had some crud for at least a week. A progressively worsening cough and snot that began turning neon green. I assumed it was just a cold and it would pass.

On Wednesday evening, Spencer told me his stomach hurt. A doctor once told me that kids will often complain about stomach pain with strep throat (although I have no idea why), so I felt his noggin to find a fever of over 101.

The next day, I haul my gaggle of children to the doctor's office and we get a diagnosis of strep throat, Spencer's second round of it in as many months. My dear husband will get strep if anyone in a 10 mile radius has it, so I call him to give him warning and lo and behold he's been feeling puny all day. Awesome.

That night, Jake said that Jack was burning up and really restless. By the time Jack found me and I felt his head, he felt cool so I brushed the idea of him having a fever aside.

The same night, Fin had been quite warm to the touch and tossing and turning all night, so I had given him a wee baby sized dose of tylenol. The next day he barely even coughed. I had made both of them a doctor's appointment early in the day, but when they both seemed to improve I canceled it assuming I was overreacting.

Wrong choice.

Last night was miserable. Spencer is on the mend, thank God for small miracles, but Jack was burning with a fever and Fin was hacking and so stuffed up that he was screaming with frustration and hunger.

Did I mention Jake is away at drill?

I got us up and moving this morning and we went to the new clinic at Wal-Mart. I generally really dislike Wal-Mart, but their clinic is open late and on weekends when NO OTHER office in my whole town is. Before this clinic opened, any illness that occurred on the weekend and needed medical attention was directed to the emergency room. Talk about a waste of the ER's time.

The NP (I love NPs, BTW) looked, listened and probed the boys while Spencer, reviling in his new found post-illness energy, acted like a wild animal, and diagnosed Jack with strep and Fin with a minor ear infection and an irritated throat.

Antibiotics all around.

While I was at the pharmacy getting the medicine filled, I picked up some Vitamin C w/echinacea hoping that it will help with the boys' immune systems. I'm also dosing Jack with motrin and tylenol for the pain and everyone (including Jake, although he doesn't know it yet) is going to start taking probiotics.

I feel like a nurse.

Hopefully by tomorrow everyone will feel at least 50% better and we can go to Branson to see Santa. Spencer was so disappointed that we had to delay our trip, which was scheduled for today.

Now I'm going to go lysol my house.

Jake + Mandy = Clones

2010-12-02T09:00:00.001-06:00

Stop the Car

2010-11-30T10:47:00.004-06:00

Fair warning: ranting ahead.

I will be the first to admit that I am incredibly soft-hearted. I cry watching Extreme Home Makeover. I cried watching the finale of "Lost." I cried reading my friend Randi's blog post about her daughter turning 3. Think the oatmeal-y, goulash-y, soupy version of soft-hearted. That's me.

One of the things that will cause me to weep copiously is pretty much anything sweet or sad or loyalty driven having to do with animals (I was already crying during the "Lost" finale, but when the dog did his thing with Jack [people who watched it know what I mean] I lost my marbles).

I drove us home from Jake's parent's house this weekend. As I was driving I see a dog start to walk out into the road.

Maybe it is just because my worst nightmare is to hit an animal, especially one that may be a beloved family pet, but I am constantly scanning the sides of the road when I drive for any type of movement. And I don't mean the sides of the road just to the front of where I am, I scan as far as I can. Any movement or (in the dark) flash of an eye means that I slow waaaaay down. Because of this, I noted the dog, slowed down, checked the other lane for oncoming traffic, and swerved around him.

The guy behind me should have had no trouble doing the same. When the person in front of me slows down and swerves, I am typically inclined to do the same. At the very least I slow to a crawl. Instead, this guy just drives like the road is totally clear and devoid of obstacles. I checked my rear view mirror just in time to see the poor dog get hit.

And he just kept on going.

There was probably nothing the guy could have done for the dog (you know, besides not hit it), but it seems so cruel not to stop and help. Maybe the dog could have been saved. Maybe it ended up on the side of the road, suffering, until it died. The guy better be glad that he didn't end up passing me on the road at any point; he would've gotten my middle finger and a dirty glare (I am totally the most mature person ever, I know).

I know exactly where the hatred for people like that comes from.

Right after we moved here in 2008, our dog, Crickey, dug out of our fence. Spencer and I were biking to the farmer's market and she tried to follow us. It took her long enough to get out of the fence that I didn't know she was on our trail. She got hit and died.

The person that hit her didn't stop, but some gentlemen that witnessed the accident did. They removed her body from the road, checked her collar, and called Jake. They told Jake that the accident was totally avoidable (the speed limit on the road where she was hit is only 30 MPH); the lady that hit her was not paying attention to the road.

I can't imagine the scene that would have occurred if I'd have biked back to the street to find her there. And the person that hit her should be very, very glad that I don't know who they are. I've never been a violent person, but I guarantee you that there would've been a fist thrown on my part.

I'm not naive enough to think that I'll never hit an animal (although I hope and pray never a dog or cat). But I promise you I'm kind enough to stop.

Thankful

2010-11-25T09:00:00.000-06:00

Happy Thanksgiving!

I feel like the luckiest girl in the world about 90% of the time (the other 10% of the time I'm working on the bills, ugh).

I have a husband that I adore and that likes me ok too. ;-)

I have 3 amazing kids that keep me on my toes.

I have 2 awesome sisters whom I love dearly.

I have 2 very sweet nephews.

I have a family that is there to support me in good times and bad.

My inlaws are great people that love me and do nothing but smother my children in affection.

I have a house that keeps me warm and enough money to keep us all fed.

I have a car that drives and is paid off, even if we are packed into it like little sardines.

Jake has a job. So thankful for that in this economy.

My job is so much fun. I love going to work and all the perks I get (like bringing the boys with me).

I have made some great friends in Mtn. Home.

I truly feel blessed.

I confess...

2010-11-09T13:06:00.003-06:00

...that many mornings my kids don't get a good breakfast. I am grateful to the school, for serving breakfast to Spence, and for Pop Tarts, which is frequently what Jack eats.

...that I think the only thing Jack got from me was his curly hair.

...that I always said Spencer could keep his hair how he wanted (long, short, whatever), but now that he chose to have it cut short I HATE it.

...that it I get something on my shirt that dries clear, I'm not changing it. Be that water or spit up or breastmilk. If it isn't showing, I'm not changing. That just makes more laundry.

...that I smell like sour milk right now.

...I have a coke problem. As in Coca-Cola. I cannot get enough of the stuff. I'd drink it all day, but I worry that the baby would be wired from all the caffeine.

...I think I love my husband more and more everyday.

...that the only thing I don't mind being woken up for in the middle of the night is sweet sayings from Jake. He frequently wakes up in the night and says things like, "I'm glad I found you so young." I think he thinks I'm asleep when he says them.

...that watching Spencer and Jack play together makes me feel all warm and gushy inside. I almost cried watching them fly around playing Buzz Lightyear last night.

...that I love my job. It is the best of both worlds: bringing in some money while being with my kiddos (well, at least the younger two).

...that it annoys me that Jack wants to sit on me all.the.time.

...that I think it is special how much my boys love my grandparents. I'm so glad they will get to know each other so well.

...that I've eaten over 50% of the Halloween candy by myself.

...that I have a deep love for TV. I really only have one show that I must watch each week (Glee), but if I can find a Law and Order rerun I'm as happy as can be.

One Month Evaluation

2010-10-27T16:41:00.005-05:00

So Fin crossed the one month mark yesterday. It is absolutely insane how fast the time goes. It seems like just yesterday that Jack was a baby. Two days ago Spencer was.

When I found out I was pregnant with Fin, I was really unhappy. Jack was only 10 months old and super, super needy. He nursed all day and all night. He was up at least every two hours on a good night and hourly on a bad one. He hated people, screaming at everyone from the checker at the grocery store to the ladies I work with, and wouldn't take a bottle so I couldn't leave him easily. When the second line came up on that pregnancy test, all I could see was my future with a bigger version of that Jack and a baby that had the same temperament that Jack had as an infant. I was already sleep deprived with a husband bunking on the couch, so the thought of having two super needy kids just made me want to jump off the nearest cliff.

Thank the good baby Jesus that that future never came to fruition (I seriously prayed for it not to).

Jack, while still not 100% over his hatred of people (just ask the photographer from today's MDO pictures), he is 85% better. The last two Tuesdays that I've dropped him off at MDO so I could have a break, there was nary a tear. And he'll actually let a stranger talk to him without screaming as if they are pulling his fingernails off one at a time. He's not hit his big temper tantrum throwing stage yet either, so things are pretty positive on the Jack front.

Fin, so far, is pretty mellow. He can (although he doesn't always) lay down and fall asleep without nursing. He likes to eat, but will take a passie for his sucking needs instead of insisting on a breast. At this point, he doesn't scream in the car (but I know that can absolutely change in the next few months); our first trip to Little Rock last weekend went pretty well. He'll hang out in the bouncer and the swing for short periods of time. He's gaining weight well (13 pounds when my sister weighed him last weekend), sleeping decently for his age (up 2-3 times a night to eat), and, unfortunately, losing his hair (which is standard for my babies; they have hair at birth and are bald by the time they are 3 months old).

It has not been nearly as bad having two so close together as I feared it would be. That's not to say there aren't times that are difficult. Sometimes Jack needs me and I'm nursing Fin so I can't go to him in a timely manner. Sometimes Jack whacks Fin on the head with a shoe. Sometimes Jake has drill so I have to deal with two kids who wake at night (yes, Jack still doesn't sleep through).

But sometimes Jack points at Fin, makes a smacking noise, and leans down to give him a kiss.

I'd say things are going well.

(And he's started smiling already. Awesome. :-D )

3 Across

2010-10-15T18:49:00.004-05:00

I wish that I was asking advice on a crossword puzzle, but alas, I am not.

I'm talking about this:

That is what two very wild boys and one very little boy look like when scrunched three across in the back of my Honda Accord.

Let me go ahead and profess my embarrassment that Jack is forward facing already. All the new research shows that kids are 500% safer when kept rear facing to the weight limit on their seats and the American Academy of Pediatrics is about to come out with a recommendation to keep kids rear facing to age two, or so I hear anyway. But I literally could not drive with his seat rear facing and I'm a shorty. One day, if I ever get a bigger vehicle, I'll turn him back around.

When we found out Fin was coming, I was pretty convinced we'd be getting a new vehicle. Then we paid my car off and Jake insisted that we keep it and put them across the back seat.

In order to accomplish this, the first thing we had to do was get Jack a new seat. The seat he had (and that had been Spencer's) was really wide, so we traded that one for a Sunshine Kids Radian, which is super duper narrow but still one of the best on the market. We'd have even more room if we also put Spencer in one, but a) Spencer freaks out at any little change (we got the seat he is in now last summer and it took 6 months for him to stop whining about it), b) they are $250 and c) the cup holder on his current seat rocks my world. No telling how many spills that thing has saved me.

However, as you can see in the picture, Spencer's seat bumps up against Fin's and makes it tilt to the side. It is still safe (the base is tightly secured and the seat is firmly snapped into the base), but Fin's poor little head topples to the right when he is riding in the car. I hate that.

Another problem that we are having with them wedged in there so tightly is that Jack can not only reach Fin, but can reach him well enough to smack him in the face and steal his passie. Ask me how I know. :-/

I'm hoping I can convince Jake to upgrade us in the spring. All the traveling we'll be doing during Thanksgiving and Christmas may do the convincing for me.

We Should Have Named Her "Destructo"

2010-10-14T16:40:00.002-05:00

Last January, we got a puppy. She was so cute and did that cute puppy romp. We were in love.

After we brought her home, she didn't have much of an opportunity to do much. She slept a lot at first and we crate trained her (poorly *sigh*), so she spent most of her time either outside or in her crate.

As she's gotten older, it is almost as if her bad habits have gotten worse. Her chewing has gotten out.of.control.

To date, these are the things I can think of that Cara has chewed up:

-too many dirty diapers to count
-sippy cups
-all of Jake's flip flops
-all of Spencer's flip flops
-all but one pair of Jack's flip flops
-all but one pair of my flip flops
-2 pair of my tennis shoes
-numerous toys, blocks being the toy of choice
-water bottles
-any plastic storage containers left on the floor by the kids

I'm sure this is just a partial list and I've forgotten a ton of stuff. I'm guarding the remaining flip flops in this house with my life.

Welcome, Fin!

2010-09-30T12:44:00.002-05:00

I think pretty much everyone who reads this blog is my friend on Facebook, so this isn't an announcement for you, obviously. *laugh*

Finnegan Howard

September 26, 2010

1:25 pm

9 lbs, 8 oz

21 1/8 inches

Sweet as sugar.

Lazy

2010-09-18T16:53:00.002-05:00

The lazy has invaded me. I have less than zero energy.

As of right now, there are about 5 big things that need to be done around here before Fin comes. And it isn't like they can just be left undone. When you have your babies at home, home needs to be ready to handle L&D. Mainly, it needs to be clean.

I find it impossible to maintain any sense of order or cleanliness in this house. Jake and I worked for hours in a row two weekends ago and the house was chaos within a few days (although the windows have stayed pretty clean). I know that a lot of it just goes with having two young kids. They are going to drag the toys out and leave them in places they don't go. I'm not one to mind having a bit of toys scattered throughout the living room, bonus room and, of course, in the boys' room, but they drive me crazy when they make it into the kitchen or my bedroom. And, naturally, Jack is too little to do any major picking up and Spencer, much like his mother, can be oblivious to the mess. I can say, "Spencer, pick up that pencil at your feet" and he'll look all around and not be able to see that it is right between his feet.

Their nutrition has greatly suffered at the hands of my late pregnancy laziness. Spencer has pretty much learned how to get his own food out of the fridge and gets Jack some too (but part of that is b/c Jack is all up in Spencer's business if he doesn't have some as well). Their go-to snack these days is squeezable yogurt and bread. Yes, bread, right out of the bag. I have managed to keep us stocked in milk, but it has been an effort.

I know that some of this is late pregnancy fatigue. It certainly doesn't help that I have slept through the night maybe 10 days in the last 18 months and that is hard on a person. Jack gets me up between 6 and 7 in the mornings and I am ready to have a nap by 11. I slept with Jack for 2 hours this afternoon. My eyes have been more than ready to close by 9:30 every night for the last week.

It makes me worry about how I'm going to handle another labor. I went into labor last time pretty well rested and I was exhausted by the end. There is no real napping to be had during a natural childbirth.

I'm going to get up now and attempt to clean a bit. Wish me luck that I make it through more than one room before falling asleep on my feet.

Hold On, Baby!

2010-09-12T18:38:00.002-05:00

38.5 weeks

I hope I have some time left. Tomorrow I will be at the same point, gestationally (is that even a word? I have no clue...), that I went into labor with Jack. Jake left for his training in Austin today.

I need this baby to hold on. Just hold on for one more week!

The Ramifications of Nursing

2010-09-09T18:51:00.002-05:00

Jack weaned, with a push from me, back in late March. He was a year old and not really ready to give it up, but pregnancy can zap the best of milk supplies (which mine was) and I could tell he was growing frustrated with it. He was nursing, easily, twice as much as he had been and acting kind of angry about it. I just didn't have a good supply, if any, left.

One of the ramifications, in my opinion, of pushing them to wean before their ready is what I've started calling the "comfort boob."

Exhibit A:

Is he just hanging out? Bored?

Hand in the cleavage.

Upset? Hurt?

Hand in the cleavage.

Post temper tantrum?

Hand in the cleavage.

You get the drift.

Good thing I don't mind.

Dear Ms. Spider,

2010-09-06T19:15:00.002-05:00

I want to take a moment to formally apologize for sucking you up in my vacuum cleaner yesterday afternoon. I feel like I should explain seeing as how I not only allowed you to live in the window above our computer all summer, but I lobbied my husband several times not to squish you.

You see, we had a fly issue this summer. We moved the dog food outside the back patio door which brought the flies (and in one instance, a very unlucky possum) in droves. This wouldn't be a big issue if I didn't have children. They have this really annoying habit of going in and out doors, specifically our patio door, and leaving it open. And the dog destroyed the screen many moons ago, so we don't even have that option. Although, honestly, I think the boys would've left that open anyway too.

So I wanted you to be able to hang out, both metaphorically and literally, to help curb the fly problem. And let me take this moment to say what a bang up job you did. When I vacuumed up you and your impressive web yesterday, I also vacuumed up a ton of fly carcasses. So well done, Ms. Spider! I commend you!

My dear husband pointed out that you looked like you were about to lay eggs, though. And while I am appreciative of the job you did this summer, I can't make room for hundreds of spiders in my house. I barely have room for the 4 (soon to be 5) humans, 5 animals, and all our stuff. We didn't think out this two bedroom thing very well, obviously.

So, sorry. May you have speedy passage into the next spider life.

Regretful,

Mandy

Saturday Randomness

2010-09-04T10:30:00.002-05:00

I wonder if my kids would fight as much if they were a boy and a girl.

We all have snotty noses and that sucks.

But I love this weather shift anyway. I'm sad that it is going to get hot again on Monday.

I wish the A/C people could've installed the new A/C this weekend, just for my peace of mind if nothing else.

I wish we didn't need a new A/C. It is expensive.

I can't believe our rental agency is blowing our renters off. I think we're going to fire them.

I really, really cannot have this baby until after the 20th. Really.

I feel like Thomas the Tank Engine has permeated almost every facet of my life. I only mind sometimes.

I just want to stay home all day and nap, but I have a lot to do even if we did stay home all day.

I miss teaching this time of year. I wish I'd have gotten that job in Flippin.

I hate finding bits of food all over my house. I can see pieces of pretzel from where I'm sitting now and I know there are goldfish crumbs on the living room floor. I just swept yesterday.

I'm so happy Jake replaced our screens. Our house looks 25% less ghetto now.

The box fans we bought last night made a huge difference in the coolness of our house this morning. I'm hoping I can keep it under 76 in here today.

I'm going to throttle our dog if she doesn't stop chewing stuff up. I know it is just the puppy in her, but I'm down to 2 pair of flip flops. I think she ate 6 of my pair alone this summer.

Why aren't there more girl engines on the Island of Sodor?

The carrot cake I ate last night was the best I've ever had. I'm glad I ate it, even if it did make me so full I was miserable.

I should drink more water.

I need more shirts that fit. I'm down to two of mine and a few t-shirts of Jake's. Even my maternity shirts flash my belly.

Jack is so ornery. It is cute now but I can see that cuteness fading really fast in the next year.

Spencer needs to whine less. It is driving Jake up the wall. I guess he can't tune it out like I can.

I wish Jack would sleep through the night. He was doing it 3 times or so a week or at least not waking up until 3 am-ish. The last week he's been waking up in the 10 or 11:00 hour so I've ended up sleeping in his bed all night. I like sleeping with Jake better.

I need to fold laundry. The pile is seriously huge.

I obviously had a lot of thoughts floating around in my head. I had no idea the list would be this long.

School Daze

2010-08-31T09:54:00.002-05:00

What a month it has been! Looking in from the outside, it appears as if I've slacked in my blogging this month, but that isn't entirely true. Our main computer managed to get some corrupted files in Windows, which is bad news b/c apparently you can't make it turn on when that happens, and my netbook didn't have a charger, so no blogging for me. Even the library was closed to relocate to the new building, so I couldn't even go there. My blogging in August was just not to be.

This month, Spencer started school. And it is a pain in my rear, to put it mildly. I am missing our lazy days hanging out at home, but probably not nearly as much as Spencer is. I also went back to Mother's Day Out 3 days a week and Jack has aged out of the baby room and is now in the toddler class. He is not a fan. I can hear him wailing for about 10 minutes when I leave him and then for 10-15 minutes at nap time. I expected him to be a lot more clingy after we left each day, but he really hasn't been at all. It seems that, minus the tearful times, he's just fine.

I can't say the same for Spencer, though. He hasn't warmed up to Kindergarten at all and drop offs seem to be getting worse and not better. Last week he had one day that was so bad I told him if that ever happened again he'd be riding the bus from then on. We haven't had another day like that, but we've had several very tearful ones. It breaks my heart b/c it isn't an angry tantrum, it is a heartbroken cry. I'm considering going to eat lunch with him today, but I 'm not sure if it is a good idea yet. He'd probably want to come home with me and be upset when he couldn't.

A pic from the first day (note the joy and enthusiasm on his face, LOL):

I am hoping that next week will be better, but who knows. The three day weekend may throw him off even more.

The Pacific Northwest: A Top Ten

2010-08-06T10:50:00.003-05:00

Top 10 Reasons I want to move to the Pacific Northwest:

1. Arkansas summers are unbearable.

I've been complaining about it all week, so I thought I'd complain some more. It seems the older I get, the more I loathe summer. Or maybe it is just the fact that I have kids who I'm trapped in the house with all summer. I can't let them out to run off their energy b/c they'd A) get terribly sunburned, even with sunblock and B) they'd probably die of heatstroke. It just isn't fun. Even the local bodies of water are too warm to cool you off.

2. Politics

I'm liberal. Like, way liberal. Most of Arkansas, well, let's just say they are not. My ideology just doesn't fit in here. Know where I'd fit in? The PNW. Jake wouldn't fit in there, but he doesn't like to talk politics anyway.

3. The Scenery

I'm not saying that Arkansas doesn't have its pretty spots b/c it certainly does. Especially in the fall over in the northwest part of the state. But regardless, Arkansas doesn't have the awesome towering trees and snow-capped mountains in the background like Washington state did. So beautiful.

4. Jake could probably transfer

Although it isn't a given, there are tons of CEDs on the west coast. I found at least 10 in Washington state alone and Jake said there are probably more divisions with different names that I didn't find.

5. Now is the time!

Jake and I had a big discussion about living away from our families recently. I'm of the opinion that now is the time to do it while the kids are young. Jake thinks that, if we want to move away, we should do it when the kids are grown. I maintain that, by that time, I'll want to hang around and play grandma.

6. Jobs

This logic could be used for moving back to Little Rock too, but living in or around a metro area would certainly give me better job opportunities. Of course, the cost of living might off-set that. Maybe this one is a draw...

7. Better Birth Climate

This is probably a strange one for me to list considering we are about to have our last baby, but the rules and regulations binding midwives in the PNW are a lot more reasonable.

8. The Weather

I mentioned how Arkansas summers suck, but not how awesome the PNW weather seems to be. Yeah, it rains. Whatever, I'll just wear my hair curly all the time. It is just so much more temperate there. I dig temperate. For example, right now, in Seattle, it is 67 degrees. Perfection!

9. Fresh Seafood

I'm sure they get stuff shipped in too, but the proximity to the ocean means fresh seafood. Yum! We don't have any fresh seafood here. At all.

10. I want a change.

I've lived in Arkansas my whole life. Small town, big town, bigger town, small town. Blah. It is more of the same. And maybe it would be that way somewhere else too, but I'd like to experience it. While I'm young, please.

A Day at the Lake

2010-08-03T14:27:00.005-05:00

That sounds like the title of a children's book to me. LOL

Last Saturday, we were treated to a day at the lake with one of Jake's co-workers and his family. We live in an area with two lakes that are pretty easily assessable, and yet we almost never go. I think it is because we would rather go out and enjoy the lake from the boat and not from a swimming area (that may or may not be gross when we visit, yuk).

We kind of have a plan for trying to buy a boat in the next year or two, but we'll have to see how things pan out.

Anyway, we got to the lake around 1:30 or so. Donnie owns a ski boat while his son has a pontoon. I have always been partial to ski boats because that is what I grew up on, practically. Some of the best memories I have of my Dad from my youth include him behind the wheel of our boat wearing a backwards hat, sunglasses, no shirt, and the dorkiest lake shoes you can imagine.

The pontoon is much better for a family with kids, though. Mainly because they can take their life jackets off when the boat is stopped and they are gated inside the railing, so they'd have to put real effort into jumping/falling off the boat. Obviously, we hung out on the pontoon for most of the day.

Spencer was none too happy with our plans of a lake day. He didn't want to go. He was scared of the boat, scared of the water, scared of the wind and the clouds and the noise. I'm not convinced he was really scared; I think he just wanted to NOT get on the boat. Of course, when we "parked" the boat and swam, which was 99% of our day, he looked a lot like this:

(ie-as happy as a clam). The kid had a blast swimming and munching chips on the boat. And playing with Donnie's son, Robert (pictured here), who was either called "Robin" b/c Spence didn't hear his name right or Diesel, b/c, you know, everyone gets a train name. They grew grapes under the pontoon boat, which cracked us up.

Even Jack loved it. The life jacket was a bit too "up in his business," as I tend to say, for my taste, but he didn't seem to mind too much.

He also had this turtle floatie thing that he could sit in and we alternated between it and the life jacket. I took him in the water once with no flotation device (although I was sitting in a life jacket, so we had no trouble staying above water) and he kept drinking the lake water, which squiked me out, so he had to get back in the boat.

We didn't end up leaving until after 9 pm and, of course, the boys were beat down. So were Jake and I. But it was so worth it for the awesome time we had.

Adventures in Baking: Blackberry-Peach Pie

2010-07-28T13:03:00.000-05:00

In a bit of a break from the typical breads I've been baking, I decided to bake a pie.
This is my favorite time of year b/c of the farmer's market. A week or so ago, I picked up some peaches. Last week, I picked up some blackberries. My original plan had been to make a peach cobbler and later a blackberry cobbler, but we got busy and the peaches just kept sitting in the fridge, unused.

Then, as it turns out, I hadn't purchased enough of either fruit to make cobbler.

I started browsing the internet for recipes using what I had and stumbled across a pie recipe that used both. It sounded pretty good and not all that complicated, so I printed it off and decided to run with it.By far the most intimidating thing about making a pie is the crust. It just seems like a really big deal. I have memories dating back 2 decades of my grandmother rolling out pie crusts so the whole idea wasn't foreign to me, it just seemed like it would be difficult to get right.

I decided to give it a go anyway. I pulled out my trusty red and white gingham Betty Crocker cookbook (holla to Jake's Gram, who got that for us as a wedding gift), found a crust recipe, and got to work.

Amid the screaming and gnashing of teeth going on by my children, I managed to roll out two pie crusts that actually fit in the one pie pan I had. I laid the first in, put in the filling, put the second on top, cut the slits, and popped it in the oven.

Just before going in the cooker:

It had been baking about 20 minutes when Jake got home from work. He is currently on a low-carb diet in preparation for an Army combatives class in September, so he took on look in the oven and let me know what an injustice I was perpetrating. He wouldn't have liked it anyway; he has a thing about seedy textures and blackberries are, of course, pretty seedy.

Anyway, after about an hour the pie came out of the oven looking and smelling delicious.

I managed to wait until after dinner to cut a slice. I was nervous. I'd never made a pie before, much less a pie totally from scratch. I was afraid it would taste bad. Afraid that the insides would just kind of liquefy and run all over the pie pan when it was cut.

Fortunately, I am an expert recipe follower and the pie was delicious.

I dedicate my first pie to my grandmother, who is the queen bee of all pies. May I acquire her stash of recipes soon! ;-)

Parents, In Love

2010-07-26T12:24:00.000-05:00

Spencer has assigned us all train names. I am Mavis or Molly (there is a shortage of girl trains in Thomas-land, FYI), Spencer is currently James, Jack is Henry, and Jake is Hiro.

When we visit my grandparents, as we did a few weekends ago, Spencer always sleeps with my grandmother. I told him I was going up to bed and gave him a kiss and he said, "Mommy! I have to tell you something!"

"What, sweetie?" I said to him.

"I want you to have good sleeps and sweet dreams of Hiro."

Maybe it is all the pregnancy hormones, but it made me tear up. Ever since, I've been thinking about how wonderful it must be for children to see their parents in love.

Our boys see us snuggle, kiss, flirt, and laugh together. They also see us bicker, argue, and huff at each other. My biggest hope is that they can take these situations, as enacted by their parents, and kind of log the memory of how it all went down and use it in their own lives.

I feel so lucky to have Jake and my wonderful boys.

V is for Vasectomy

2010-07-12T20:10:00.003-05:00

By the look on his face, you'd think it wasn't totally his idea, huh? ;-)

On Friday, Jake had a vasectomy. I can't claim that I was 100% on board, b/c I wasn't. I haven't been too happy about having another baby, but it isn't necessarily the baby itself that has me freaked out, it is the age gap between Jack and the baby. And I think I've said to him more than once, "Why stop at 3? Let's have more!" I really do enjoy being pregnant for the most part and I adore older infants and toddlers. Just not little babies, so much.

But Jake was adamant that he was done after Jack and I put the idea of a vasectomy off as much as I could. The permanence is quite scary to me, especially b/c Jake and I are still quite young. 27 just doesn't seem old enough to make such a permanent fertility decision.

The surprise of Fin, not to mention the terrible age gap, was enough for me to relent no matter that I'd have 1 bazillion kids if he'd let me. Three really is a good number for us. I'm one of three and so is he, so I'm happy with the decision to stop here.

Recovery wise, it has been up and down. The first day was ok. I expected the second to be really terrible, but it wasn't. It seems to be a bit worse today, but Jake said he feels it in his abdomen, presumably b/c they severed some connective tissue in the process of the procedure. He is planning to go back to work on Wednesday and I've encouraged him to stay off work as long as it takes to feel ok. Pushing it won't help him heal any more quickly.

Things That Are Hard

2010-07-08T08:36:00.002-05:00

(That's what she said!)

Ok, no, this post isn't about that. It is about things in my life that are HARD! Tough, if you will. Difficult. Whatever, get your mind out of the gutter.

Peeling carrots without a vegetable peeler

RIP to my veggie peeler. About 4 years ago, I got a veggie peeler from Wild Oats (now Whole Foods) in Little Rock. It has been a good peeler. A loyal peeler. And last weekend it died. I thought this was no big deal. It was actually easier for me to peel the potatoes without it. Carrots are another story. I've already put a new peeler on my grocery list for next week.

2. Being pregnant while having a toddler who doesn't sleep through the night.

Separately, these things aren't so hard. Being pregnant? Not so hard. Having a toddler? Trying, but not necessarily hard. Having a toddler that doesn't sleep through the night? Sucky, but not so hard. Combine the three and you have a recipe from the devil.

3. Menu planning with a picky husband.

I try to cook different stuff. Keep things spicy in the kitchen. But Jake likes his meals in a very simple format: meat, potato, vegetable. Or sometimes meat, vegetable, vegetable. He'll try anything I cook, but it is really easy to tell when he's not a fan. And it isn't that what I cook is bad (seriously, I'm a pretty good cook when I have a recipe to follow), but he just takes issue with meatless dishes and some textures. So our meals end up being the same thing week after week, which suits Mr. Jake just fine.

4. Keeping our "bonus room" clean.

We have this room off the kitchen that was an addition to the original house. It is kind of a multi-purpose room; there is a built in desk and some storage, a closet that Jake uses as the home for his clothing, and the closet where our laundry machines are. Next to the living room, it also has the most open space, which means it houses a lot of kid playthings. We keep the train table there, with all its accessories, and a little picnic table for impromptu snacks and lunches. But because there is so much going on in there, it is also a disaster most of the time. Computer trash, clean and dirty laundry, papers cascading everywhere, toys galore. It drives me crazy, but no matter how often I pick it up and sweep it down, it is a disaster again within 36 hours.

5. Staying stocked with milk

A few months ago, I posted about how insane the amount of milk WIC gives us is. How we could never go through that much and I was throwing gallons and gallons away each month. My, my, my, how the tables do turn. Since Jack weaned, we are going through about a half gallon a day. I went through what WIC gave us in 15 days this month and am now buying gallons two at a time when I go to the store (which is about every 4 days, at this point).

6. House training a puppy

Do I even need to elaborate here? This is part of what is keeping my bonus room so dirty. Cara (our 8 month old puppy) still isn't fully house trained and is peeing on our beds. I'm washing sheets like a crazy lady, but that creates a backlog of laundry. Which then sits around in my bonus room.

7. Figuring out "Lost"

We are late getting on the "Lost" bandwagon. We just started season 1 this year. WTF is going on? We are about 7 episodes in and it just keeps getting weirder. But from what I gather reading around the internet, that doesn't really change. And you don't really get any true answers. Why am I watching this again?

8. Getting a job

Mtn. Home=the land of no jobs. At least not jobs in my field. If I was a LPN, RN, or CNA I'd be set. I'm getting my application together for the last opening in my field within an hour's drive today. Pray I get the job.

9. Making this list an even 10

So I'm going to stop now. :-)

Alone

2010-07-02T10:16:00.002-05:00

There is really something to be said for alone time.

After being sat on, rubbed on, clung to, and jumped on for the better portion of each day, sometimes I just want my children to go away. Not for a long time, just long enough to watch a tv show or grab a bite to eat without having to share.

98% of the time, any time I spend without my children is spent with Jake. I am a huge advocate of getting out of the house with the spouse sans kids. Jake and I try to have a date night at least once a month and actually prefer to do so twice a month or more. We don't do anything fancy; if we are in Mtn. Home our dates usually are dinner and a movie. If we are in Little Rock, we usually do dinner, a movie, and a Target trip (b/c, really, when you live in a land of no Target you go as often as you can when you find one). We are dinner and movie people, I suppose.

But every once in a while, I want to be ALONE. I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't want to accommodate anyone else's wants, needs, or desires. I want to do what I want to do.

I feel very lucky that I have a husband who gets that about me. He has no problem telling me to get out of the house. There have been times I've taken a book and parked my car in a parking lot somewhere to read (welcome to Mtn. Home, where the only walk-in coffee shop closes at 6 pm).

Last night, I went to a movie by myself. For those that have never done this, it is amazing and I encourage you to give it a try! I used to be embarrassed by it, but I do it proudly now. I don't have to share my popcorn. Or my candy. Or my coke. I can squeeze into a spot in the theatre that a group couldn't, so I get a better seat. And in the instance of last night's movie, Eclipse, I don't have to listen to snarky comments coming from the seat beside me.

While I was at the movie enjoying myself, Jake and the boys were out having "man time." They ate at Spencer's very most favorite place, Pizza Hut, and went to the park to play since the weather took a mild turn.

And when I got home, I was refreshed and ready for another day.

The Seven Year Itch/Father's Day

2010-06-20T23:42:00.003-05:00

Today, I have been married for seven years. And the seven year itch is no where to be seen.

Seven years ago, I was 20 years old. I look at 20 year olds now and think about what babies they are. The first batch of students I ever taught are 21 now.

But, oh, what a grown up I thought I was. And so I told Jake that I wouldn't "shack" with him and that if he didn't marry me I was moving back into the dorms when summer was over. He says he's glad I forced his hand, and I totally believe him. ;-)

Jake was fresh out of basic training and I was in between my sophomore and junior years in college.

We were broke, so broke, and living in this little shanty of an apartment. Every Thursday, we'd load up all our laundry and haul it over to the ghetto to the laundromat. And God knows we looked like we belonged there, because all of our good clothes were dirty. By Thursday we were wearing the dregs.

And now we've survived so much together. A deployment. A very early, very sick baby. The purchase of two houses, three cars, and a motorcycle. The adoptions of 6 pets. A beautiful home birth with another rapidly approaching.

We've come a long way since we were the 20 year olds who got hitched. I wouldn't trade a second. Not one.

And on another sappy note, happy father's day to the best man I could've ever picked to have children with.

We have a lot of laughs around here, can you tell?

Some Days

2010-06-15T22:36:00.002-05:00

Some days, the pitter patter of little feet running up and down the hallway makes me want to pull my hair out. It grates.

Some days, the boys seem to do nothing but fight. Spencer lives to torment Jack, it seems. Spencer better hope Jack doesn't remember; I have a feeling the tables will turn as soon as Jack realizes he's almost as big as Spencer.

Some days, I seem to have a million errands to run and both boys seem to do nothing but fuss and whine. They are hungry when they just ate. Thirsty when they just drank. Hot when the car can't be a degree above 73. Tired when they just woke up from naps.

Some days, I'm tempted to look at them and yell "FINE THEN!" and turn on Barney and Calliou for the entire day while I hide in my room. Barney and Calliou can soothe the savage beasts, I tell you.

Some days, I can't move for a kid clinging to my leg. I can't be out of sight for .42 seconds before someone is crying my name in agony because they dropped their bowl of goldfish or bumped their head on the super plush couch.

Some days, I want to put them both in bed at 5:00.

Today, well, today was not one of those days.

Today, my kids rolled with the punches with as little belly aching as I have a right to expect from a 5 year old and 15 month old.

Today, the pitter patter of little feet running up and down my hallway was punctuated with peals of laughter.

Today, Spencer and Jack hardly fought. They played "puppy" instead.

Today, no one clung to my leg while I tried to cook or pressed themselves to the shower door while I was trying to clean my weary body.

Today, I relished in my children. I relished that I was their mother and they were my kids. Imperfect and wonderful, all three.

Playing Around

2010-06-12T20:20:00.000-05:00

I'm playing around with the template of the blog, so pardon the work in progress for a bit!

25 Weeks, a Winter Hat, and Other Randomness

2010-06-09T17:00:00.000-05:00

Today, I roll over into my 25th week of pregnancy. I am huge, but I hear that frequently happens with pregnancies so close together. And I can tell this has been harder on my body, which makes sense when you think about the fact that my body hasn't had a break since May of 2008. I did 9 months of pregnancy with Jack, then nursed him for a year, and several months of nursing overlapped with this pregnancy. So my body has really been proving what is made of the last few years.

But even though I can tell it has been harder, I still have no complaints. I feel good. Thanks to my memory foam mattress topper, I'm still able to sleep on my stomach part of the night (a big grateful shout out to my mother-in-law for getting us that for Christmas one year). I'd be sleeping all night long if I didn't have a pesky little toddler who likes to wake up from 1-3 times each night. But even that is a vast improvement from the 8+ times he was waking up while he was still nursing at night, so I'll take it and be grateful for it.

I'm quite convinced that our young belly dweller, Fin, is a big baby. Bigger than Jack was at this point, for sure. I would not be surprised at all if he weighed somewhere between 9.5 and 10 pounds at birth.

Big 'ol belly (pardon the crazy hair, we went to the pool today):

I've done practically nothing to prepare for Fin's arrival. I picked up some really cute receiving blankets, a gown, and a couple of outfits on crazy sale from the Carter's outlet, but that's it. You would think that with having a third boy, there wouldn't be much to do. But Spencer and Jack were both spring/summer babies, so most of the itty bitty stuff that I have are short sleeved. Fin is due mid-September-ish and it starts to get chilly here in late September or October, so I'm going to need some long sleeved bitty things this time around.

Part of getting ready for Fin means knitting some longies and soakers for him. I haven't picked up my knitting needles in probably four months, so until yesterday they still held Spencer's incomplete winter hat. I finally buckled down yesterday evening and finished it. Fortunately, I'm terrible and sizing heads (just ask poor Jake; I've knitted him 3 winter hats and they've all been way too big or too small) and it is a bit big on him now. I bet it will fit perfectly (or at least much better) by next winter.

In other news, it seems I am unemployed for the summer. The Mother's Day Out program that I work at simply did not have enough kids in my room to keep me working. One of my kiddos jumped ship and went somewhere with regular child care hours (we are only open until 2:30), and two have aged out of my room. That only left me with Jack, who I don't pay for, and another little boy. That won't even pay for me on a day to day basis.

So I offered to keep a few kids at my house this summer and so far it is working out great. I'm not making as much money, but I'm also only keeping them 2 days a week at this point, which has been really nice. It is less stressful for me b/c Spencer and Jack can sleep as late as they want and hang out in their pajamas when they get up, so I'm not running around every morning like a crazy person getting lunches packed and shoes on feet.

A very awesome side effect of this is that the house is staying pretty clean. It has been really nice!

Random pics from our first few days of summer:

And please don't think I'm shorting Spencer on the picture front. The kid is on an "I don't like" kick and right now one of the things he doesn't like is having his picture made. He either runs away at the sight of the camera or ends up looking mad. That should bode well for the professional pictures I'm having made of them on Friday. Oy.

Adventures in Baking: Boule

2010-06-02T19:35:00.003-05:00

I haven't been doing much baking, especially since the shocker of my pregnancy. Before this, the last time I baked was when I blogged about it, and I'm pretty sure that was before we knew about this new guy.

I'm feeling a bit better about things recently (and I do mean just a bit, a bitty bit), so I broke out my big bucket for some fresh bread.

Boule is the very basic recipe in my bread book, but it is by far the most delicious and versatile one I've made.

Butter + garlic salt + boule=heaven, FYI.

Anyway, here's the bread at just mixed:

At 1 hr:

2 hrs:

The spoils of a baked loaf:

If you have the book, make this bread! So simple and so, so good.

Nose Owies and Preschool Graduation

2010-05-28T09:00:00.000-05:00

Last week, Jack got the most glaring injury either of my kids have ever gotten. Right on his nose.

He was doing his best to run (you know, that little toddler run) when he tripped over his flip flop. Unfortunately, he was running on concrete and he was obviously not in a self-preservation mode as he didn't put his hands down to catch himself at all. I literally watched him slide across the concrete face first. Ouch.

It didn't look bad on the first day. Even though it was a pretty nasty fall, it appeared to only take the first layer of skin off; it didn't bleed or anything.

The next day, it looked like this:

Of course, we got comments about it where ever we went. I just called him Rudolph.

In other news, Spencer graduated from preschool a few weekends ago. They held a graduation ceremony during the 11:00 service at church and it was super cute. Spencer was not thrilled to participate in any way, shape, or form, but he was with Ms. Teshena and Ms. Laura, so he was ok.

Happy Birthday, Spencer!

2010-05-26T20:15:00.006-05:00

I'm only *checks calendar* 3 days late posting this. I feel like a hamster on one of those wheels, running and running but not going anywhere!

Anyway, my sweet guy is now 5! And even better than being 5 is the fact that, in about the last month or so, he's gained 3-4 pounds. This is an especially big deal as I think he's been 32-33 pounds consistently over the last year. He hopped on the scale at the vet's office on Monday (which is a whole other post, ugh) and it said 37 pounds. I thought it was calibrated wrong. I stuck him on our scale at home and it said the same thing. Awesome! I hope the weight hangs on; he certainly needs it.

We held his party on the 15th at our local youth center. He attended a party there in January and had such a great time that he decided he wanted his party there too. They blow up those huge inflatables (a slide and a bounce house, in our case) and do 98% of the clean up, so it was really great.

We invited everyone in his class plus a few of his buddies that aren't in his class. I think we ended up with between 15 and 20 kids in attendance and it was so much fun. I don't think I sat down once for the entire two hours, but it was great.

Party table:

I bought 30 capri suns, 12 cokes (and by cokes I'm speaking southern, I mean "soda"), and 12 bottles of water. I also made a batch of lemon squares, brownies, and 2 dozen cupcakes. At the end of the day, I had a few Diet Cokes, 2 cupcakes, and 2 lemon squares left. Successful menu planning! I was scared I was going to have way too much food.

Spencer requested a Thomas the Tank Engine ice cream cake from Dairy Queen. I had no idea it was actually ALL ice cream. I'm used to ice cream cakes being half ice cream, half cake, which is why I was perplexed as to why the cake seemed to be melting all over.

I can't remember a time when he's ever liked to have the birthday song sung to him.

For kicks, I made him pose with a diaper that they sent me home with from the NICU (for his baby book, they said). This size diaper was actually a bit too big for him in the beginning.

Dilemma

2010-05-13T22:17:00.002-05:00

I feel like I have reached a cross road of sorts in my life, and I don't know which way to turn. Each direction has pros, cons, and complicating factors.

The basic gist of the matter is that we need to have more money coming into our household. I've always read that, when money gets tight, you either need to make more or cut expenses. While there are a few things we can cut (namely eating out and cable, maybe cell phones, if we got a land line), those things just aren't going to add up to over more than a hundred or so dollars every month.

If the economy wouldn't have been so bad in 2009, we wouldn't be having this problem. Ugh.

And don't get me wrong, we get by just fine. But that's just it: we're getting by. We have enough money to have a bit of fun, but we aren't making any headway on paying off debt. You know, that debt that we ran up in our VERY early 20s thinking we had forever to pay it off, no big deal. Live and learn.

So I've decided I have to do something about this situation. Jake is salaried. Short of getting a second job, there isn't really anything he can do about it. And I'd never ask him to get a second job; he already works 50-60 hours a week as it is.

The way I see it, I've got two options.

Option 1 includes going back to work full time. In order to make more than I make now working part time, I will need to go back to teaching. This means putting 2 kids in child care or hiring a nanny. The biggest complicating factor is Finn. If I was an established teacher, needing a maternity leave in September wouldn't be that big of a deal. Hiring a new teacher that will need to take leave after working for 6 weeks isn't all that alluring, I imagine. Another complication I'm running into is that they keep listing the social studies positions with coaching attachments for the district where I live. And finally, I, apparently, live in one of the areas of the state with the fewest school districts. That means that I've found 2 openings (the aforementioned ones with coaching attachments) within an hour of me in any direction.

Option 2 means trying to recruit 2-3 children for me to care for while their parents work. The biggest benefits to this are twofold: Spencer won't have to go to kindergarten (we really prefer to home school) and Finn and Jack can stay home with me as well. Complicating factor? Finn, again. I'd need at least 6 weeks off following his birth and I imagine that parents would have a hard time finding alternate care for their kids for that amount of time.

I guess there is a 3rd option, which would be working at night. But I've been looking for a job like that for months to no avail. Once again, let me thank the big city of Mountain Home for being so awesome (heavy sarcasm, there).

I just don't know what to do and it is super frustrating.

Busy

2010-05-05T15:46:00.002-05:00

I feel like I've been negligent. I got so good about blogging and we go through a busy snap and it gets put on the back burner. Here's what's been going on lately:

We went to our annual March for Babies walk. We always walk in honor of Spencer. This year it was due to rain, but it was looking ok when we left Sheridan. It was sprinkling by the time we got there, still ok. After we'd been there about 20 minutes, the flood began. It got so bad that, just as we were leaving, they called the walk off. We got drenched and then went to IHOP, where the clouds miraculously parted and it became a beautiful day. Go figure.
We found out we are having a healthy baby BOY. Not all the surprising when you look at Jake's family make-up. Although I think we were all jonesing for a bit of baby girl action, having 3 boys is going to be fun. Maybe I can get Jake to go for a 4th eventually. ;-)
Spencer's birthday party is coming up, so I've been very busy getting that ready. We are having it at our local youth center where they will set up a big inflatable slide and bounce house. I always worry that no one will come to functions that we are having, but we've had several kids RSVP already. It is going to be a good time, even though Jake will be at drill that weekend. Fortunately, my sister and grandparents are going to be coming up for the party and that will be a huge help.
We are having a yard sale this weekend, for which we have done nothing to prepare. I am hoping to unload some stuff that we just have sitting in the garage or in boxes and bags. Our house right now is only 1300 square feet with 2 bedrooms and not near enough storage. It is getting cramped.
We are hoping to buy a foreclosed house. We found it totally by accident, but are really hoping it pans out. It needs a lot of work. A lot. From totally new floors, to all new paint, to plumbing and electrical work. I simply can't figure out what people do to these houses! Anyway, the layout is better, it is bigger (with a 3rd bedroom and lots of storage!), and the backyard is bigger than our whole lot right now. The dogs and boys would love it. The bank that owns the property is in Germany and they are taking all offers at once, so we won't know how our offer went over until the 17th of this month. Jake spoke with the listing agent who said that most of the offers were very low-ball, so hopefully ours comes in higher (we are offering about $14K less than they're asking).

So that is it in a nutshell. Busy. Busy. Busy.

"It Kills Weeds Down To The Roots, Mommy!"

2010-04-14T21:27:00.002-05:00

This is the sentence that was uttered to me a few days ago by Spencer. The conversation went something like this:

Me: We're going to run by Sonic and then we need to go to Home Depot really quickly.
Spencer: Why are we going to Home Depot?
Me: Well, we need ant killer, poison ivy killer, and grass killer.
Spencer: You should get weed killer. It kills weeds down to the roots, Mommy! I saw that on a commercial.
Me: :-l Hmmm...ok, maybe.

Today, we had a conversation that went like this:

Me: Spencer, I forgot to pack you a cereal bar, but I've got this kind from Ms. Laura (who is my boss).
Spencer: Oh, I like Nutra-Grain bars! They can help you eat good all day long. I saw that on tv!
Me: Hmmmm...ok.

Between conversations like that, the fact that he identified Hugh Laurie as Dr. House while watching "101 Dalmatians," and his frequent humming of the Cialis theme song, I've come to the conclusion that we watch too much tv.

I'm one of those "tv as background noise" people. I don't like the quiet and the radio stations here are crap (I think I've decided they are pretty racist too as the music they play is 98% white people, but that's a whole other post), so the tv has been my go to noise since Jake was deployed. You'd think the boys would make enough noise on their own, but whatever.

I know that to curb Spencer's viewing habits, I have to curb mine. That thought makes me want to fall to the ground kicking and screaming. I have a very regimented weekly tv schedule that I so look forward to each night. After chasing 4 babies all day and then coming home to cook, clean, attend play dates, work in the yard, etc., I enjoy sitting down at night and watching tv. Watching it after the fact on hulu just isn't the same.

So I'm just going to go watch Ultimate Fighter while I ponder a solution, ok?

Kicking and Screaming

2010-04-10T12:27:00.005-05:00

Spencer said he wanted to play soccer, so we signed him up. Since this was his first foray into sports, we had no real idea of how he would do or if he was athletic.

Things started out ok. He was excited for his first practice, although quite shy. We considered it a victory that he actually got out and kicked the ball around with the other kids.

And then, the honeymoon ended. Spencer quickly realized that he wasn't nearly as fast as the other kids (although I think he could be, he is quite the lollygagger) so he never really got to kick the ball. He's also pretty clumsy; his feet turn in a bit so he trips a lot. He's easily distracted, so he often ends up running the totally other way from the rest of his team. If he gets tired or discouraged, he just...sits down. Wherever he is.

I don't think the kid has a "tough" bone in his little body. If he falls, it is the end of the world. If he gets bumped, oh man. Jake says he's a "wuss" and just needs to toughen up. I told Jake to quit being a "typical American dad" and let the kid be sensitive if he's going to be sensitive. No sense in trying to change who he is.

Ever since Jack was born, I can tell that Spencer is a lot more like me where Jack is more like Jake. Spencer is going to be the dreamer with an active imagination. I think, after this season ends, we'll stick to art classes and the like.

Typical Spencer action:

Spring Means Critters

2010-04-07T20:37:00.006-05:00

This is Catch (aka Poo Kitty, Poopin', or Pooper). In fact, we rarely call him "Catch" unless we're talking to someone outside the "realm of knowledge" of his early poop issues. Or to someone who would think we're crazy.

This is Freckles (aka Freekle Baby or "OMG, cat, you stink!"). She likes to sit on this tree and camouflage herself. She does a pretty good job; her fur color blends her pretty seamlessly. She is also, by far, the least graceful cat I've ever seen. She doesn't quite know how to retract her claws so she trips a lot and she doesn't run very fast (probably b/c she's so fat).

These are my hunters.

We have dog doors in our house; one goes from the house to the garage, the other from the garage to the back yard. This is super convenient dog wise, but we didn't foresee what would happen with the cats.

Of course, we assumed they'd eventually figure it out. But we didn't realize that we were about to become like a wildlife show on the Discovery Channel.

It all started with a bird. The first thing I noticed were feathers. Feathers everywhere! I thought the dogs had ripped open a feather pillow. Then I saw it, the little bird carcass. Poor guy. At the time this was such a shock to me that I called Jake to come home from work to perform bird removal services. Unfortunately, my cries that the bird might contain some terrible disease did nothing to convince him and I eventually scooped the deceased up in a dust pan and tossed him over our back fence.

Birds continued to come in on a semi-regular basis, usually at the "hands" of Catch but occasionally Freckles would bring one in as well. As fat and uncoordinated as she is, I can't imagine the brain function of the birds she catches. They must be s-l-o-w.

Last spring, when Jack was a bitty baby, Freckles brought in something and dropped it on the rug. I could tell that it was reptilian, but not what it was exactly. I was nursing Jack on the couch and guessed that it was a frog. Then I noticed whatever it was kind of uncurl and show its tail. So I thought it was a lizard. Once Jack was asleep, I laid him on the couch and snuck over to see exactly what it was and if it was alive.

It was a snake.

Needless to say, I flipped out. I don't know a lot about snakes and couldn't identify it. What if it was poisonous? I called Jake, who had taken Spencer to eat, and he quickly came home, got the grill tongs, and tossed it outside.

We looked the snake up on the internet and it turns out it is a garter snake, which is harmless. But having them in your house is still creepy (and embarrassing when they slither out from behind your furniture while you have company).

The summer was pretty mild, so the cats continued to bring them in. Sometimes they'd bring 3 or 4 in a day. And, of course, the birds continued to come in as well.

Later in the summer, Spencer was watching PBS while I was in the laundry room. Suddenly he runs to me yelling "Poo Kitty has a bunny!"

"Surely not," I thought to myself, but Spencer was right. It wasn't all that small and he didn't even injure it. Jake came home and found it cowering in a cup that somehow got kicked under our bed. He took it outside and it hopped away.

He brought in another one later, except we didn't know this one had come in. In the middle of dinner, we suddenly hear a terrible noise coming from the back of the house. I thought it was a mouse, but Jake came out of our bedroom holding a bunny by the scruff of the neck. It had been screaming b/c Catch was sitting on it.

All this to say it is obviously spring. Last week, Freckles tried to bring in one snake (I was outside and caught her with it before she got in the dog door) and successfully brought one it. And yesterday, Catch rounded the corner with a bunny, headed right to the dog door with it. I was lucky to be outside with the boys to prevent him from bringing that one in. When he was done playing with it, he let it go and it hopped away.

As for the birds? Well, they are a year round staple.

Washington State: A Narrative

2010-03-26T16:58:00.011-05:00

My trip to Washington was amazing. Here, I shall give you the run down. ;-)

I landed in Seattle around 4pm on Saturday. I had intended to go to a hotel and crash right away, but a huge part of my trip was going to consist of going to the beach (and *coughForkscough*) which I hadn't realized was close to 4 hours away. So, at the last minute, I revised things and planned to stay in Forks the first night.

Let me say, a southern accent goes far in the Pacific Northwest. I booked a little compact car through Alamo and they upgraded me to a sports car. I don't think I've ever driven a 2 door car for an extended period of time, so it took some getting used to. And, goodness, the people in Washington simply do.not.speed. Whatever the posted speed limit was, that's how fast they generally went. I saw a few people coasting by at maybe 5 MPH over, but it was pretty rare. So here I am in this very sporty Eclipse (the name of the car=the name of my favorite book in the Twilight series, coincidentally) going the speed limit for the most part.

So after making my way down around Puget Sound and up through Port Angeles, I finally got to head back south toward Forks. And, FTR, no matter how amazing Edward Cullen's senses were, his car would've bitten the dust between Port Angeles and Forks if he was going above about 50, especially on this one very precarious 15 mile stretch.

I finally arrived in Forks around 8:30 and checked into the Miller Tree Inn Bed & Breakfast. Forks has, understandably, really taken the Twilight series and run with it. The Miller Tree Inn has been dubbed "The Cullen House" as it is one of the biggest houses in the city.

Most of the guests were in the living room chatting with the owners when I arrived. I was so beat, though, that I pretty much went straight to my room and crashed.

Feeding into the whole "Cullen House" theme, they had these in each room:

I decided my room would be Esme's room since it was the smallest in the house and her character is so giving and selfless.

And, of course, they had some excellent reading material in the room. I guess Breaking Dawn was a bit too risque for them. LOL

They also had this hanging in their living room, which I thought was really neat. It was only in the film, so no book basis, but I thought it was clever.

Forks, quite honestly, reminded me a lot of my hometown. A few gas stations, a few eateries, some shops, and that was about it.

Even so, I still wanted to drive through and see what the town was all about. The last stop within the city was the chamber of commerce, which had "Bella's" truck parked out front.

While Forks was a cute little town, the whole trip was made worth while by my excursion to La Push (home of the Quileute Tribe) and the beach. As I was driving, I caught sight of the ocean through a break in the trees and I literally gasped. I had never seen anything like it. We always vacation on the gulf and the waves tend to be gently rolling. These waves were big and loud and beautiful. Wow.

First Beach was my first stop.

There was a ton of drift wood on the beaches. The peninsula is heavy in the logging industry, so I assume that all the wood on the beach is stuff that fell off logging transports.

It was beautiful, but it was cold! It warmed up later in the day, but while I was on the beach it was cold enough that I didn't mind looking dorky for a bit of warmth.

I picked up some rain boots on the way to the airport in Kansas City and I was glad I did. I was walking on the beach when a particularly strong wave snuck up on me. Note the wet jeans.

I've been scribbling this in the sand every time I'm on a beach for the last 10 years.

I also wanted to go to Second Beach while I was there as I'd heard it was also very beautiful. On the way, I saw this sign. It is one of those moments when you have to kind of check yourself to make sure you saw what you saw. It makes total sense based on the geography of where I was, it just took me by surprise for some reason.

To get to Second Beach, you have to hike. I didn't really realize how far I was going to have to go until I was too far in to go back. It was worth the hike, but I could've done without the blisters. Have I mentioned how big the trees are in the PNW? They are huge. And beautiful.

When I finally got to Second Beach, you have to climb over all this to get to the actual beach part.

There were lots of tidal pools on this beach and I was really hoping to see some little stranded ocean life, but there were none to be seen.

One great thing about Washington (that I wish Arkansas would look into doing) is these turnouts. It is illegal to make a line of 5 cars or more behind you, so they provide these paved or graveled turnouts every mile or so for slow drivers to pull over in. I used this one to take a nap on the way back to Ft. Lewis, where I stayed Sunday night.

My sinuses ended up flaring up intensely on Sunday night, to the point that I thought I might have to find a doctor on Monday. An early bedtime with some Advil PM helped, though, and I was feeling much better by the time Monday came around.

Monday, I spent most of the day on the Tacoma waterfront having lunch with some friends. I think we were there for 3.5 hours. It was a great time and so pretty. I stayed in a hotel near the airport that evening, so I went and checked in early and then went into Seattle that evening.

Unfortunately, most stuff in the cool shopping areas were either closed or closing since I went in the evening. And there were about a million rug shops. I was amazed at the amount of rug shops.

Since so many things were closed, I didn't go down to the fish market, which I had really wanted to do. Maybe next time.

Another great thing about Washington (well, at least some areas)? This:

The put the calories on fast food menus. I've heard about this but never seen it in practice. Let me tell you, it is pretty effective. I simply could.not avoid looking at the calorie content of what I wanted. Fortunately, I only went to to this fast food restaurant for some ice cream. And I got a small, vanilla cup. Calorie counts, you know? I think this is something the south should look into doing. It would certainly change the way I ate.

Tuesday is when the real excitement started, although I don't have any pictures of that. I ended up in Minneapolis, where they canceled my flight to Kansas City. They put us all up in hotels and I ended up at The Raddison in some sort of incredibly swanky suite. King size sleep number bed, tub with jets, huge tvs, and room service! I almost wish I could've stayed another night. But I was very ready to come home and as soon as I got to Kansas City I jumped in my car and hit the road.

While I like to think the boys were happy to see me, Spencer immediately started telling me he hadn't wanted me to go and Jack acted like I was a stranger for about 15 minutes and clung to Dara (my sister) for his dear life. Everyone is back to normal now, though. And I'm glad to be back.

Feeling the Burn

2010-03-19T08:27:00.002-05:00

Last week, I had the most fabulous daydream and it has been recurring ever since.

In this daydream, I am alone and it is silent. I sleep all night and sleep late in the mornings. I feel rested and the bags and dark circles under my eyes were magically gone.

It doesn't take a genius to know that I would be sans kids in this daydream. The bottom line? I am burned out.

Now don't get me wrong, I love my kids with every fiber of my being. But it is kind of like being on an airplane when the little oxygen face masks pop down from the ceiling: you have to put your own mask on first before you put the masks on your children. There is only so long that I can give before I need to take a bit (or a lot).

Hence, my trip to Seattle that I'm embarking on tomorrow. After over a year of not sleeping through the night, of nursing day and night, of hauling kids in and out of car seats, grocery stores, and restaurants, I just need a bit of time for me.

That isn't to say that I never get any time for me as things stand now. Jake is great about being around so I can get out of the house to see a movie or something. I'd probably go a lot more often if we had a decent bookstore or coffee spot that was open past 6. But I was still coming home and not sleeping all night. Let me tell you, sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture for a reason.

So I'm going to Seattle tomorrow. And I'm going to drive to the ocean and sit in the sand and listen to the waves in the quiet. I can't wait.

Mandy's Breastfeeding 101

2010-03-11T22:10:00.002-06:00

Note: I am not a medical professional, nor do I play one on tv. I'm just a mommy who nursed. And nursed. And nursed. ;-)

As my nursing relationship with Jack is slowing down (and hopefully coming to a close within the next few months), and as I prepare to nurse another baby beginning this fall, I was reflecting on why it "worked out" for me when it doesn't for so many women.

I am a member of a lot (seriously, way too many) message boards online and the breastfeeding misinformation out there is overwhelming. And, unfortunately, a lot of it comes from medical professionals. That really stinks as you would think that they would be the people that could help you the most. Turns out that doctors and nurses get very little, if any, information on lactation in school (or so says my sister the nurse).

In fact, it was a nurse that led me to fail at breastfeeding Spencer. Spencer, the baby who only got to come home from the NICU because he was nursing so well. She basically scared the pants off of me. Here I was, all of 22 years old, taking home (by myself b/c Jake was in Iraq) a 4 pound, 5 ounce baby. I was terrified as much as I was thrilled. As we were preparing to leave, the discharge nurse came in and asked if I planned on exclusively breastfeeding. "Of course!" I said. She then informed me that they don't EVER recommend exclusively breastfeeding a premature baby (apparently, regardless of how well he's breastfeeding or how much weight he's putting on while doing it), and as she told me this she pushed a can of formula into my hands. That, alone, wouldn't have been enough to keep me from succeeding. But then she told me to have him weighed by Friday and, if he hadn't gained enough weight, they'd readmit him. And that is what scared me so.

But I digress. Kind of.

Anyway, before Jack arrived, I read. Man, oh, man, did I ever read. I read books on childbirth. On VBACs. On midwives. And, most important to the topic of this post, on breastfeeding. This is something I failed to do with Spencer, and with good reason; I was too busy researching prematurity to worry about what would happen after he actually got here in one piece. (I'll recommend some books in a moment...)

So, without further ado, these are the things that, I feel, made me a successful breastfeeder:

Watch the baby, not the clock. This is one of the most important first things I can recommend. New babies nurse A LOT. They nurse often and they nurse for long durations. This is normal. It doesn't mean you don't have enough milk. In fact, new babies aren't even hungry for several days; all the marathon nursing in the beginning is what brings in your milk. About the time they start getting hungry, your milk will come in and they will be sated. The most important tenet of nursing is supply and demand: if you don't let the baby demand it, you won't supply it.
No bottles or formula in the house. I assure you that I was as dedicated to nursing as a person could be when Jack was born. But let me tell you, when you are tired and the baby has been having a marathon nursing session (Jack's tended to last from 3-6 am, pure torture) the temptation to give a bottle is there. If there is a REAL problem that reveals itself, I promise you can find a 24 hour Wal-Mart and get something. If you deliver at the hospital, they will send you home with a "breastfeeding bag" that has, drumroll please, formula in it. Where is the logic in that? Anyway, leave it at the hospital. At the very least, have your husband hide it and only let you have it if the baby isn't having wet/dirty diapers by the 4th-ish day or has lost more than 10% of its birth weight. And speaking of losing birth weight...
Please note that IV fluids can increase baby's birth weight. You wouldn't think this would be a big breastfeeding consideration, but it is. Let's say that, before IV fluids, baby weighs 7 pounds. This is the weight s/he would be born at if you got no IV fluids in labor. So you get to the hospital and they hook you up to an IV that is running the saline the whole time you're in labor. Obviously the baby gets what you get, so the baby takes on fluid as well. Now the baby weighs 7 pounds, 8 ounces (and I have no idea how much fluid weight a baby would really take on, this is just an example I pulled out of the air). Baby is going to naturally shuck this water weight after birth. And babies naturally lose some weight after birth anyway (Jack got down to 8 pounds, 4 ounces at his lowest, which was about 9%). So it will appear that baby has lost more weight than he actually has, b/c some of that weight is water and not actual body mass. I hope that makes sense.
If you are having problems, or just need some reassurance, call someone! But NOT your pediatrician or OB. Sometimes even the lactation nurses at the hospital aren't very good (sometimes they are, but I've heard some bad info come from them too). I recommend calling a mommy friend you are comfortable with who nursed successfully, seeing an Independent Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC will follow their name), or calling someone from La Leche League (I've linked the Arkansas La Leche League page). I was having some pain when Jack was nursing and, even though there isn't a LLL in my city, I called a leader from the Little Rock chapter and she helped me over the phone and sent me some links with video to help me out. I know that LLL can get a bad rap, but seriously, they can help you! If they are local to you, someone will even come over and help you for free. They want to see you succeed. Also, if LLL is local to you, I recommend you attend some meetings while pregnant. Part of the reason that women have so much trouble nursing is, in my opinion, that we don't see anyone nursing anymore. The formula companies convinced our mothers and grandmothers that formula was superior and so a lot of our breastfeeding knowledge was lost. Go to a meeting, talk to women, get an idea of what is normal and what's not.
No artificial nipples (bottles or pacifiers) for 4-6 weeks. Of course, YMMV on this, but personally I wouldn't introduce a bottle until 4 weeks and a paci until 2-3 weeks. Babies suck on artificial nipples differently that human nipples and I promise you don't want a baby with a bad latch stuck to your body. Also, bottles generally just pour milk out so baby doesn't have to work as hard. Well, obviously baby could grow to prefer the more free flowing milk from a bottle. The work a baby does to nurse actually helps his/her facial and mouth muscles develop appropriately, so there is a reason they have to work for the milk.
Watch out for meddling mothers/mothers-in-law. Unless they have successfully breastfed, of course. I will never forget how badly my step-mother wanted to nurse my little sister. Even at the ripe old age of 12, I noticed how often she talked about it and how badly she wanted it. Well, Hannah arrived and she nursed like all new babies nursed (I assume, I was 12 after all): frequently and for long durations. And what did my step-mother's mother say? "That baby is STARVING! Just give her a bottle." And what did my father say? "That baby is STARVING! Just give her a bottle." That is enough to shake anyone's confidence. And so Hannah got a bottle from then on. I've also heard of mothers/mothers-in-law telling a tired mommy to go take a nap while they watch the baby and then sneaking the baby formula. For shame.

Great books:

"So That's What They're For!" by Janet Tamaro (By far my favorite.)

"The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding"

Great websites:

La Leche League

Kellymom (This is like the one stop shop for breastfeeding information. It even answers questions on medications you can take and has a great FAQ section.)

Of course, YMMV. Like I said, those pieces of advice are what got ME through breastfeeding Jack. :-)

Happy Birthday, Jack!

2010-03-05T21:51:00.001-06:00

One year ago today, at the exact time I've set this post to publish, my second child was born.

His birth was by far one of the most healing things I've ever done and parenting him has been by far one of the most difficult. I wouldn't change it for the world.

Seriously? Well, Apparently.

2010-02-23T21:07:00.002-06:00

Tonight on the news, I heard a snippet about a high school in Rhode Island that will be firing ALL of its teachers. I think I got whiplash trying to turn around to catch the rest of the segment.

Apparently, this poverty stricken school in Rhode Island is sucking. Their graduation rate is hoovering around 50%, 90% of their students are living below the poverty level, and 25% of the students are ESL (English as a second language). In my experience, as limited as it may be, the last two of these things can pretty much guarantee a struggling school.

Now, here is the question: WHY are they firing all the teachers?

Well, in reading through a few articles, it sounds like it might be two-fold. CBS Link ABC Link

CBS makes it sound like the teachers are being let go simply because their school is underperforming. The ABC article goes a bit more in depth, and it turns out that the teachers want to get paid for the extra 25 minutes a day they would be working (among other new responsibilities). The teacher's union said no way and so the teachers will be fired.

Now, I don't know about you, but I don't work for free. Work is work. If I was an hourly employee, that 25 minutes would be worth money. Why should that 25 minutes not be worth money to a salaried teacher? After all, that extra 25 minutes a day works out to be an extra 2 weeks worth of work over the course of a 190 day school calendar.

I also don't feel like teacher performance should be so strictly tied to student achievement. Sure, the lazy teacher who sleeps in class and, literally, doesn't even try to teach (shout out to my 11th grade Chem teacher, Mr. Miller!) is not going to have students who are knocking people's socks off. But I firmly believe there are plenty of fabulous teachers out there who have students who could give a shit about education. Those students are not going to do what needs to be done. I also believe there are plenty of fabulous teachers out there who have students who just can't do the whole school thing. And that's fine. I'm a firm believer that a lot of today's school curriculum is not necessary. The world needs gas station attendants probably more than it needs CEOs.

Regardless, I think the firing of all the school's teachers is excessive at best and downright idiotic at worst.

Maybe its good that I got out of education.

Jack Gets Life

2010-02-20T15:28:00.002-06:00

So we're at the park today and Jack somehow managed to snag my phone. He's always liked to fiddle around with it, trying to push the buttons and whatnot (he called 911 once and how he did it I'll never know; you have to hit a digital button that says "dial" and then the numbers are all digital as well, but I digress...), but today he did something different. He held it up to his ear and said, "Eeh."

He says "eeh" about everything pretty much. If I had to label his words, I'd say he could discriminately say "mama," "daddy," and "nurse" (which sounds like "na-na" while he frantically does the sign for nurse). "Eeh" is just his general noise. But I was just flabbergasted to see him put the phone to his ear. Like a real person! And he figured it out all on his own, just by watching us! Smart boy.

I can remember feeling this way about Spencer as well, how amazing it was to watch them go from baby to toddler right before my very eyes. For my boys, the pattern has seemed to be walking, then talking, and by the time they are doing both of those things they are like their own little person.

I mean, technically they've always been people, but to me toddlers just have so much more personality. They get mad about things other than food and diaper changes and happy about figuring out how the world works. If I had to pick, the toddler phase is by far my very most favorite. Like little sponges, they are. It is super fun.

You'd Never Know How Wild They Are...

2010-02-16T10:17:00.002-06:00

when you see a sweet pic like this (taken pre-illness).

(And, uh, pardon all the laundry on the couch. We were in the middle of folding...)

Expecting the Unexpected

2010-02-12T09:22:00.005-06:00

Blurry, but definitely a clear "+".

I had always wanted 3 kids, for as long as I can remember. After Jake and I got married, it just seemed to make sense. He was one of 3 (all boys) and so was I (all girls). But whereas I enjoyed having two sisters, Jake always said he felt crowded. He would've stopped after Spencer if I hadn't pushed, I think.

Then Jack came along. Jack is one of the needier babies I've ever experienced. He still wakes several times at night to nurse and maintains "cranky" as his general disposition. I had decided I was done. Jake had pushed for a vasectomy and I asked him not to, but I had the sudden realization that I felt done. If all babies were like Spencer (minus the complications), I'd have a hundred. Babies like Jack are why families quit having babies.

So I was going to consent to Jake having a vasectomy and, in the meantime, start my prescription of birth control pills. I read through the packet since I was taking a pill I'd never taken before (the mini-pill, which is safe for breastfeeding) and discovered when I needed to start them and that, if taken during the first trimester of pregnancy they could cause birth defects. The instructions encouraged taking a pregnancy test before commencing with the pills.

I grabbed a cheap-o pregnancy test not wanting to waste money on something that was going to be negative and trashed shortly thereafter. I mean, Jack was still nursing so much at night that my period hadn't returned. And I learned through research that 80% of first cycles are anovulatory, so the odds were stacked in my favor.

Welcome to the 20%, Mrs. Walters.

I took the test and, so sure I was that it would be negative, I jumped in the shower and went on with stuff I needed to do before I glanced at it. And then stared at it. And then threw up.

I am not excited. An 18 month age gap between needy baby and new baby sounds like the least amount of fun a person could ever have. I haven't yet forgotten how much it sucks to have a little baby. It sucks a lot. Sure they're cute and they smell good (sometimes), but they also bring you to a level of sleep deprived that I can guarantee you've never experienced, not even during finals week in college. There were mornings that I'd have to call Jake to drive Spencer to preschool b/c I literally could not get up.

So anyway, September. And by then I'll be fine and excited, I'm sure. But for now I feel a whole lot of emotions ranging from angry (at myself) to dread and back again.

Adventures in Baking: Brioche

2010-02-01T18:06:00.002-06:00

I actually did this baking a few weeks ago, but got busy and forgot to post about it. And man, oh, man, does this dough need its own post!

If I had to describe brioche, I really only need one word: butter. When you whip up a batch of this, it makes 4 loaves. I used 3 sticks of butter in this batter. And you could tell! It practically oozed out of the baked loaf with every bite. Yummy!

Jake showing his need for attention (and the dough, just mixed):

At 2 hours:
Ready to go in the oven:
All done:I started with a basic loaf as I thought that'd be a great way to see if I did a good job. My book says that it makes a good breakfast bread with jam and I can totally see how that would be true.

I also made brioche with chocolate ganache. For that, you roll the dough into a rectangle and spread a chocolate mixture all over it, finishing by rolling it up and putting it into the loaf pan. It was a big hit with me and Spence, but not so much with Jake. It called for the chocolate ganache
to be made with a bittersweet chocolate and Jake said he would've preferred semi-sweet at least. One of the ladies I work with agreed with him, so next time I think I'll try it with a semi-sweet chocolate instead.

This was really an awesome bread and I can absolutely see it becoming a staple in our house.

Government Waste

2010-01-16T20:51:00.002-06:00

Warning: Semi-political musings ahead!

So, I'm sure everyone has heard stories about government waste. $1000 toilet seats and whatnot. But, as I was at the grocery store today, I started getting more and more angry about a government waste that I have first hand experience with.

Government waste at the grocery store? What am I talking about? Food stamps?

Nope, WIC.

And technically not the entire WIC program.

We qualify for WIC. It was very close, but the requirements are actually really high for this government program and I finally convinced Jake that we should take advantage of it. I'm not going to say it isn't a hassle; if we didn't get $20/mo. in produce then I don't think I'd bother.

Anyway, the reason I mention government waste and WIC together is that we receive an obscene amount of milk on the program. So much milk, in fact, that we end up pouring out several gallons a month.

Today I went and spent our entire monthly WIC allowance at once because it was on the verge of expiring. This meant that I had 6 checks to use in addition to buying the other groceries we needed for the next 2 or so weeks.

I ended up leaving with 8 gallons and 2 quarts of milk. What the hell am I supposed to do with that much milk at once? Heck, what am I supposed to do with that much milk a month? The only members of our family that drink milk are Spencer and sometimes Jack (usually his sippy cup is filled with water since he's still nursing). Jake will usually only use milk in his cereal and he'll use it to dip cookies in when I bake some. I don't drink it because even skim milk has 2 weight watchers points in 8 ounces.

We have a deep freezer, but we don't have space for 8 gallons, not by a long shot. When I went out to stick some gallons in there today, there were still 3 gallons and a quart in the freezer from last month.

Milk is between $3-4 a gallon. They may only be wasting $20 a month on my family, but multiply that by the number of people on WIC and I'm sure it would be a substantial amount of money. That's not to say that everyone on the program doesn't drink all the milk. I know that my friend Kibbon's family does drink all their milk. But they do get less than us since she isn't nursing anymore.

I've tried giving it away to no avail. Everyone I know is either on WIC or doesn't need it. I wish I could donate it to a food bank, but they want non-perishables only. Maybe I'll have a milk stand on the side of the road this summer.

A Yogurt Disaster

2010-01-14T12:14:00.003-06:00

I was blow drying my hair yesterday before work and this is the scene I emerged to find. Spencer left a yogurt container on the table the night before, but I thought it was empty so I was just going to throw it away the next morning. Jack is, apparently, tall enough to reach stuff on the table now. LOL

It Sure Is Hard To Be 4 1/2...

2010-01-11T09:00:00.000-06:00

Adventures in Baking: Challah Dough

2010-01-10T19:57:00.005-06:00

And it did really turn into an adventure before the dough was all gone!

After my success with the Olive Oil Dough, I decided my next challenge should be Challah dough. Challah is a traditional Jewish bread and, in my bread book, it is the basis of several sweet bread recipes.

While you can do a lot with Challah dough, I decided the first thing I would do is what is traditionally done: a braided loaf. It seemed like the best way to tell if I had mixed the dough correctly.

So once again, I pulled out the big bucket and got to mixing.

Just mixed:
2 hours:

Obviously it didn't rise near as much as the Olive Oil Dough, which initially had me concerned. Had I done something wrong? I decided to let it sit in the fridge overnight and whip up my braided loaf the next day anyway

I was daunted by the thought of braiding bread. Surely it couldn't be as simple as braiding hair, right? Turns out, it is pretty simple (note: this is a 3 braid loaf, not a 6).

Just braided:

Once it is braided, it has to rest for an hour and 20 minutes. That's a long time. I was glad I started early.

Let me take this pause to praise parchment paper. I've seen recipes recommend it before and just dismissed it as a fancy-schmancy way to bake. I ran across some in the grocery store one day and decided to give it a go since so many of the bread recipes seem to suggest it if not using a stone. I am a believer now. I love parchment paper!

Anyway, after the very long 80 minutes had passed, the recipe called for you to brush the loaf with egg wash (1 egg + 1 tsp of water) and then sprinkle with poppy seeds.

All ready for the oven:

Bake for a mere 25 minutes at 350* and you get a little something like this:

Jake said it looked like a slug. LOL

Overall, it was pretty good. I expected it to be sweeter, but then recalled that the only sweetness it had in it was 1/2 cup of honey. I could taste the egg wash, and I wasn't really a fan of that, but I may have brushed it on too heavily or something. I'd give it a solid "7" for a first effort.

The next morning, I used some Challah dough to make the Sticky Caramel Pecan Rolls. Even though I followed the recipe, the "sauce" somehow came up over the side of the pan and got all over the broiler pan. It smoked a lot, but I thought nothing of it really.

It'll burn itself off," I said to myself.

Today, I went to use the last of the dough, making a traditional loaf again, and the smoke was unbearable. I checked the oven and it was pouring smoke. I opened the oven door, closed the oven door, and then went to open the screen door b/c Spencer was coughing up a storm.

By the time I came back across the oven, it was aflame. Huge flames in my oven! I yelled, "fire!" and ran for the fire extinguisher (which we only have b/c it was left by the previous owner). I couldn't get it off the wall, but Jake was right behind me, yelling to get the boys out of the house (which I was hesitant to do b/c Jack was taking a good nap).

Jake was so mad at me, but I maintain that every woman is allowed to start a kitchen fire once in her life. I'm lucky that mine didn't occur until I was 27.

One positive thing that came out of the fire is that our fire alarm never went off. It totally should have, so now we know that it needs new batteries or to be replaced.

On the negative side, A) I had to toss my bread b/c it was covered in fire extinguisher goo and B) the house smells TERRIBLE. I have no clue how to get the smell out or how long it will take to dissipate. Jake's clothes got it worse than mine. Luckily.

Adventures in Baking: Olive Oil Dough

2010-01-08T09:00:00.000-06:00

Lately, my mother-in-law (who shall hence be known as "Karen" or "MIL" ;-) ) has been whipping up some phenomenal bread items. From scratch! With no bread machine! In seemingly no time at all! Fortunately for me and Jake, she revealed her secret to me and then bought me a copy of her secret.

The whole basis of this book is that you can make fantastic, specialty store type breads with very little time investment. They basically give you a recipe that makes roughly 4 loaves (or flatbreads or whatever) per batch. You can stick it in the fridge (for about 12 days) and tear off the appropriate amount to bake when you need to. On top of the basic dough recipe, they give you recipes for the dough.

The last two times I've been at my in-law's house, Karen has made a flatbread with onions and rosemary that has rocked my socks using the Olive Oil Dough recipe. So that was the first dough recipe that I was determined to tackle.

I mixed it all up in a giant tub that she gave me. Once you do that, it has to rise for 2 hours. But you literally do just that: mix it and then leave it for 2 hours.

Just prepared:

At 1 hour:

At 2 hours:

I decided to use the Prosciutto and Rosemary recipe in which you basically roll the dough out, put prosciutto and rosemary on top, roll that into a ball, and then re-flatten it so the meat and herbs are in the bread.

I forgot to take any pictures of the process, but I did snap one of the aftermath:

For a first batch, I think it was great. And obviously so did Spencer and Jake. Tonight I'm planning to tear off another hunk of dough and make the onion and rosemary flatbread. Bon Appetit!

Snow Days

2010-01-06T14:27:00.004-06:00

I don't think there is any greater joy than being a child and waking up to, as Spencer says, "beautiful blankets of soft snow" ( I believe that is a quote from Thomas the Tank Engine, go figure, LOL). I can remember being about Spencer's age when we got about a foot of snow, or at least it seemed that way to me. Goodness it was fun! Dara, my sister, was still too little to go out and play with me in it, but I can distinctly recall making snowmen and snow tunnels. What a blast.

As much as I dislike Mountain Home, I will say this: they get some winter weather. I've preferred cold weather to hot since I outgrew (or got too busy for) living in the swimming pool all summer. Give me a wind chill and some snow ice cream any 'ol day of the week. That was too big of an order to fill most months living in central Arkansas, but not up in the northern part of the state. And I have to say, I love it!!

And Spencer has certainly been having a great time...

Notice how Trogdor is all up in Spencer's business the whole time they are in the backyard. Trogdor is part Great Pyrenees and, way back in the day, they were bred to guard sheep in the Pyrenees Mountains where it is super cold. He has been going out into the snow and just hanging out. I think he is enjoying the fact that it has been cold enough for it to stick around and was hoping that Spencer would frolic with him in it. :-)

The Walters' Year in Pictures

2009-12-31T09:00:00.000-06:00

JANUARY

FEBRUARY

MARCH

APRIL

MAY

JUNE

JULY

AUGUST

SEPTEMBER

OCTOBER

NOVEMBER

DECEMBER

From our family to yours, happy new year!

The Decade in Review

2009-12-29T10:24:00.000-06:00

Some ladies on one of my message boards were reviewing the first decade of the new millennium. Apparently, Time Magazine is calling it the worst decade ever and she wondered how the decade panned out for people individually. Here's my contribution (and my age will totally show here, LOL):

2000- Got a leading role in the school play, where I met Jake, Jake graduated high school and went off to college, I began my senior year in high school
2001- Got my hours cut at my waitress job and had to find a new job (very traumatic at 17/18), graduated high school, went to college, pledged Delta Zeta
2002- Jake went to basic training, so I wrote letters every day for a good part of the year, learned the way to Ft. Leonard Wood, got engaged, left Delta Zeta
2003- Got married
2004- Lost 43 pounds, got pregnant, Jake deployed to Iraq
2005- Pregnancy got all traumatic, had Spencer prematurely, Jake came home, did my student teaching (probably my worst year of the decade)
2006- Started a job teaching at NLR high school, worked at a bank the summer between semesters (worst job ever!), Marla had her car accident
2007- Jake got on meds (yea!), we decided to move to Mtn. Home over La Grange, GA
2008- Lived with Mom and Pop while trying to sell our house (no luck, but we did rent it out), finished my second full year of teaching at NLR then joined Jake in Mtn. Home, got pregnant again, Crickey died
2009- Got our first real profit sharing check, Jack was born at home, lost 26 pounds (and will still be working on that in 2010)

Best wishes for a very awesome 2010!

A Very Thomas Christmas

2009-12-27T10:00:00.002-06:00

Our theme this year for Christmas was very obviously "Thomas the Tank Engine." There wasn't a single non-Thomas item on Spencer's list, so Santa did her very best to accommodate that.

The Loot:

The fun:

Jack telling the grinch (aka Daddy) to cheer up and have a good time:

Jake is always in a terrible mood at Christmas. He's decided next year that he's boycotting it all, so for those who buy him gifts, just be aware. If he's going to be a scrooge about it, then he sure doesn't deserve anything.

All in all, it was a really great time. We were exhausted by the end, but I think that's to be expected with the amount of driving we did while corralling two kids. The best thing of all: Jack is getting better in the car. There was very little screaming on the way down to Little Rock or back. I don't think I could've asked for anything better!

Nestle Free Zone

2009-12-15T16:48:00.001-06:00

I am trying to live a Nestle free life. Nestle. Yes, that Nestle. Makers of such goodness as Butterfinger, Hot Pockets, and Haagen-Dazs.

So why would I want to boycott such a tasty company? Well, strap in. It is kind of a long story.

Nestle is also the maker of a little thing called Nestle Good Start, which is artificial baby milk (further known as ABM, aka formula). Now I'm not quite insane enough to hold it against them for simply making formula. There are always women who need it (last I read, about 3% of women physically can't breastfeed). It is the way Nestle has marketed its ABM on a global scale that has had lactivists in a tizzy since the 1970s.

According to many sources, Nestle is (or was) doing dirty deeds in the marketing department, specifically in Africa. There are many reports of "nurses" (who are actually just women working for Nestle) going into African hospitals and giving breastfeeding "advice" (you can imagine how good it is) and free samples. They keep supplying "advice" and free samples until mom's milk supply is gone. Then, WHOOPS!, the free samples also dry up and now mom has to buy the formula.

As you can imagine, this can cause some problems in most of Africa, where poverty is so rampant. First of all, formula costs money. These poor women are now forced to buy ABM thanks to the underhanded marketing that Nestle practices. This often causes another big problem: watered down formula. This really doesn't sound so bad, but it can be really harmful. Infants who get watered down ABM aren't getting all the nutrients they need in the right concentrations. Formula is very specifically manufactured and tampering with it can be devastating.

Along with those problems, you have a water supply and cleanliness issue. Poverty stricken countries typically don't have great infrastructure, which tends to lead to things like lack of easily accessible water or dirty water. Many infants have died because of formula usage in Africa.

The World Health Organization (WHO) has actually issued guidelines for the marketing of
ABM. The recommendation was made in 1981. Obviously the US does not participate.

Nestle now claims that they are in full compliance with the code, but who knows. I doubt their self reporting.

As for my household and the boycott, I do what I can. It seems Nestle owns so much and every once and a while I stumble across something that they own and I had no idea. For example, I have a package of Hot Pockets (Jake's lunch food of choice) in the freezer. Lamespice for sure.

By far the hardest thing to avoid has been Gerber products. Yes, they own Gerber too. *sigh* So far I haven't been able to find freeze dried yogurt bites in any other brand, so Jack has had to do without. Which is a real pity, b/c he loves those things. To further complicate matters, in the big town of Mountain Home Gerber is pretty much it. Even Wal-Mart only carries a few items made by Parent's Choice or Beech Nut. The toddler feeding area is by far Gerber dominated.

Like I said, I'm doing what I can.

Slow November

2009-12-05T16:57:00.002-06:00

As you may have noticed, November was kind of a slow month in my blog-o-sphere. Has there been a month in the past year that I've only done one post in a month? Hmmmm...

Anyway, there really wasn't much to report, until the end of the month anyway. I was out of work a few days with sick kiddos, but other than that we have just been maintaining the status quo.

Toward the end of the month, the boys got H1N1. Well, I guess we're assuming that's what it was. Apparently, docs aren't swabbing for it anymore. They just say, "Well, these look like flu-like symptoms, must be swine flu." Maybe they have magic H1N1 detectors? Who knows.

Jack had it first. He was running a fever and had a snotty nose, so I took him to the doctor, who said it was a cold (this was his second round of fever in about a week and a half). The fever lasted for about 2.5 days and then it was gone. So when Spencer spiked a fever, I just assumed it was the same thing and we went ahead and traveled to Little Rock for the holiday.

But Spencer's fever was persistent and, as the days passed, kept getting higher and higher. But he never really acted sick. He was still playing and having a great time. We took him to an after hours clinic where they diagnosed him with the dreaded swine flu and sent us on our way with a prescription for Tamiflu.

Four days after the fever began, he woke up fever free and stayed that way. "Hooray!" we all shouted. Swine flu defeated! We went to Chuck E. Cheese and Barnes and Noble and had a great time.

The next day, however, he woke up with a fever of 105.3. I'm not typically one to panic over a fever, but that is a high number. In fact, I'd never seen a number that high on a thermometer before. I managed to get an appointment with our old pediatrician in Sherwood, Dr. Miers (who ROCKS! If you are in the Little Rock area, I can't recommend her enough). She took one look and him and ordered blood work and a lung x-ray. Lungs looked good, blood work was crazy, so she directly admitted us to the hospital.

Spencer's blood had basically gone septic. He tested positive for streptococcus pneumoniae, which can cause all kinds of nastiness from sepsis to meningitis. But Dr. M caught it soon enough that the IV antibiotics were able to knock it out pretty well.

He ended up staying in the hospital for about 5 days, including over Thanksgiving.

I'm super grateful for Dr. M, that she was able to catch it. I certainly don't have confidence that our pediatrician here in Mountain Home would have (see the fact that Jack was diagnosed with a cold above. Dr. M said that with Jack being generally healthier than Spencer and breastfed, he probably had it and just kicked it really easily). I certainly wish I could clone her and bring a copy up here.

Hopefully I'll do better blogging in December. :-)

I Have Well Behaved Children.

2009-11-14T07:08:00.002-06:00

Go figure, right? With as much complaining as I've been doing about them, I was pretty sure I was raising two demon spawn. I mean, I've got one who screams at most people and is terribly unsocial. The other has so much energy that he tells me he doesn't know how to be still (God speed to his kindy teacher next year). And we had to leave Wal-Mart two weeks ago b/c of a tantrum he was throwing. Like leave the shopping cart in the aisle and get the hell out of there type situation.

But apparently, they are better behaved than other children, especially when we dine out.

We don't go out to eat terribly often; we're much more likely to order take-out these days. About a month or so ago, we were complimented while at Sean's Restaurant as to how good the boys were. A week later, someone at McDonald's complimented me on their behavior. And yesterday, someone at Quiznos' told me how well behaved they were.

It seems to me that they must be pretty well behaved in general, even with what I assume are demon like behaviors that crop up every now and again. I'm going to start trying to focus on the good stuff as opposed to all the little negatives.

November Is Prematurity Awareness Month

2009-11-01T20:45:00.003-06:00

Some quick facts...

1. About 13% of babies in the United States are born prematurely (that's more than 500,000 a year), up 36% since the early 1980s.

2. The March of Dimes has concerns that a rise in late preterm births could be because of elective inductions, either for the "convenience" of mother or her doctor (ie- without true medical justification).

3. Prematurity can cause a huge laundry list of problems for babies. Some of these problems may not present themselves until childhood.

(Source: March of Dimes)

Prematurity is not a cause that I have always championed. Once upon a time, I was quite oblivious to all things preemie. I knew there were babies that were born too soon, but because I wasn't directly involved it wasn't something I thought about.

The whole world flipped upside down for me on March 16, 2005. At 20 weeks pregnant, my water broke. Not a leak. Not a trickle. A flood.

When I got to the hospital, they couldn't even get a good reading on Spencer's heart rate because he was too small and still had so much room to maneuver.

"What happens now?" I had asked.

The answer was: we wait. Wait for an infection. Wait for labor. Wait for general fetal demise. Should I develop an infection, we deliver the baby. Should I go into labor, they would not stop its progression. Should fetal demise occur, well... But regardless, until I was 24 weeks pregnant, almost a month away, the NICU couldn't even do anything for him if he was born.

So wait I did, for many long weeks. Jake called me in the hospital daily to fill me in on what they were up to in Iraq. Mom, my grandmother, stopped by with frappuccinos from the Starbucks downstairs. Dara, my sister, stopped in frequently, bringing pictures of the cats, bills, and, at least once a week, some dinner from beyond the hospital cafeteria.

With every week brought my new perinatologist, his ultrasound machine, and a bit of encouragement. Spencer was growing. His body was growing at an appropriate rate, which led us to believe his lungs were developing despite the lack of fluid.

By the time we reached the end of May, I was finally beginning to go stir crazy (my nurses said it usually happened in the 2nd week of hospital bedrest, LOL). I had reached the huge milestone of 30 weeks pregnant, 2 weeks past what my OB and perinatologist had wanted. So when I developed a small placental abruption, the decision was made to proceed with delivery (which was a c-section due to breech presentation).

Spencer was a robust 2 pounds and 14 ounces, a full 10 ounces bigger than estimated via ultrasound, and 15 inches long. He cried in the operating room, but quickly became strained so they intubated him.

This began our NICU journey. Suffice it to say that it felt like 7 years rather than 7 weeks.

Spencer's lungs were underdeveloped and the NICU team had a terrible time keeping his blood oxygen level where it should have been. They had to put him on an oscillating ventilator with nitric oxide (different from nitrous oxide like at the dentist), which can cause brain bleeds. However, things began to move in a positive direction at that point. Three days later, he was able to move to the conventional ventilator and get off the nitric. A mere 2 days after that he was put on the nasal cannula.

Then, something funny happened. At the same time they began feeding him, his tummy just kept getting bigger and bigger. The doctors feared it was necrotizing enterocolitis (NEC), which is a very serious problem with the bowels. He was rushed from Baptist Hospital to Children's, where emergency surgery was preformed.

Turns out it wasn't NEC after all, but that his nurse had poked a hole in his stomach with his feeding tube. I think I should have been upset about that, but the gratitude I felt in the fact that he didn't have NEC outweighed it all.

From this point, Spencer's stay in the NICU was fairly uneventful. He grew and grew, almost doubling his birth weight by the time he was discharged in July. When I took him home, he was 4 pounds and 5.5 ounces.

Every time I look at him, I am reminded of how fortunate I am that he is alive. Every time I think I'm going to go crazy if I hear him tell me about his trains one more time, I think about how many mothers of premature babies didn't get to take their children home.

Because regardless of what the television shows us, prematurity doesn't mean that a baby is simply small. Prematurity is complex and frequently devastating. Simply getting big doesn't solve their problems. And I am grateful for Spencer. Every day.

If I Had To Make A List...

2009-10-23T11:25:00.003-05:00

of Jack's likes and dislikes, I think it'd look something like this.

LOVES

1. Mommy
2. Daddy
3. Spencer
4. Breastmilk from the source
5. Grabbing animal fur
6. Echos
7. Ceiling fans
8. Being held/carried

LIKES

1. Mom and Pop
2. Hannah
3. Biting people and things
4. Trying to eat paper
5. Breastmilk from a bottle
6. Making angry noises
7. Going outside and eating sticks/leaves/grass
8. Taking a bath

HATES

1. Most people
2. Loud noises
3. Car rides > 10 minutes
4. Being put down
5. Wearing clothes, especially footie pajamas
6. Taking a nap > 45 minutes
7. Shopping
8. Riding in the stroller/buggy
9. Mommy going anywhere and not including him
10. The sound of the washer and/or dryer while trying to sleep
11. Wind
12. Rain that gets on him
13. Being on his tummy

We're going back to Little Rock today. My hope is that he screams for one hour or less of the trip. Wish me luck.

Things I Wonder...

2009-10-21T16:11:00.002-05:00

1. Who complained about our yard? And by yard, I don't mean the large visible space in the front. I mean the small (like 8X3) space on the side that I didn't even realize belonged to us until this summer. That we've never done anything with and that isn't that bad. Do the old people on my block not have anything else to do? Do they not realize that I have two young kids, a job, and a husband that works 60 hours a week (and who really doesn't do the yard anyway)? Come on!

2. Why did the bird have to be dismembered? Was he really not good enough dead? Did you just get a wild hair in you and HAVE to tear half of his little body off? And also, why could you not have done that outside? I really hate finding feathers in strange obscure spaces for days after the fact.

3. WTF are the ants after? I mean, do they have a death wish? Because that is all that will come from them invading my kitchen. It doesn't matter if the counters are dirty or sparkling clean, in come the ants. DIE, ants, DIE!

4. Why haven't I won the million on the McDonald's monopoly game yet? I'm waiting...

5. Why does Jack always pick the best part of my favorite shows to either A) decide it is bedtime or B) wake up and need to be nursed back to sleep? Seriously. I missed the best parts of "Glee" last week.

6. What is the deal with WIC giving so much freaking milk? My family cannot drink over 10 gallons of milk a month, and the fact that they give it to you basically all at once just means it is going to sit in my house and go bad.

Memories I Can't Keep

2009-10-08T22:25:00.003-05:00

Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose. -The Wonder Years

Ok, I just quoted the TV show The Wonder Years. I feel it applies here. ;-)

There are days that I wish I could hold on to every little thing my boys do. I look at Spencer with his shaggy hair (he's recently decided to grow it back out) and I see the way it falls across his eyes. I want to lock that picture away. And the way Jack looks when he is in full on belly laugh mode, with his mouth wide open, showing his two pearly white teeth, eyes closed, and head thrown back. I want to store it for later. And not just the picture of the things, but the feelings behind them. And the situations surrounding them. But I can't.

A few days ago, Jack was nuzzled into my neck and I noticed that, for the first time, he had bedhead. And not just a bit of temporary bedhead, but the kind that you can't just smooth down with your hand. And I realized in that moment how many memories I've lost with the passage of time. I'll probably lose that one eventually.

How much of Spencer's babyhood has left me? I don't remember how he smelled. Or where he was the most ticklish. Or what made him laugh more than anything else. And that's just what I've lost from his first year. What about the way he tottled around when he was just learning to walk? Or the first time he ever gave me a kiss? Or told me he loved me unprovoked? All gone.

This has made me want to hold on to whatever I can get while I can. Jack is still new enough that I remember how he felt, all warm and wet, when he was first placed on my chest. And I remember how his new baby head smelled so good even though we didn't bathe him for a week after his birth.

And I want to cling on to what Spencer is doing with new ferocity. He traced his name all by himself for the first time this week. And he's getting sneaky when he does something he knows he's not supposed to.

I guess the brain is only meant to hold so much. But it kills me that all these little things will leave me over time to be replaced with just the big stuff. I hope its enough.

Week 4 Weigh-In

2009-10-05T15:12:00.001-05:00

So this week rounds out my first month on Weight Watchers. As of this morning, I'm down another 2 pounds for a total of 15.6 pounds lost! Love it!

Week 3 Weigh-In

2009-09-28T21:23:00.002-05:00

This will be quick b/c Jack is ready for bed, but I want to be accountable.

Monday is weigh day, so onto the scale I went this morning.

And I'm down another 3 pounds to make my total weight lost at this point 13.6 pounds. Woot! No complaints from me.

I really wanted to be at approx. 20 pounds down at the end of the month when we're having pictures made. I don't think I'll quite get there, but I'll be close enough to be happy with it.

Body by Baby

2009-09-19T17:56:00.000-05:00

Right now, I have a "body by baby." Technically, you could say I have a "body by babies" since I never got those last 5 pounds from Spencer off, but I got close enough, I think.

In April of 2004, I had hit my highest weight (to that date, at least) of 219.5 pounds. When I stepped on the scale, I was mortified. I had no idea that my weight had crept up so high; I just knew that Old Navy's sizing had obviously gotten smaller as I was wearing a XXL. Denial in its finest.

I stumbled across the Atkins diet on accident and decided to give it a try. At the time, I needed the rigidness it provided (you can eat these things, you can't eat those) and it worked out perfectly. Between April and November of 2004, I lost almost 50 pounds. It felt great.

That November, I found myself unexpectedly pregnant. At least I was married. Ha! Anyway, it isn't advisable to do Atkins while pregnant, so I threw it out the window and, man, did I throw it far. I was still eating reasonably, but I had added all the "no-no" foods back in; stuff like whole wheat bread, oatmeal, and tater tots. Ok, so I wasn't perfect, but I certainly wasn't out of control.

My weight gain stayed in check pretty well until my water broke and I landed in the hospital for 10 weeks on strict bedrest. I was doing my student teaching at the time and was on my feet, moving and shaking, for about 6.5 hours a day. Once I was in the hospital, the most I walked was the 5 feet between the hospital bed and the bathroom. Not the mention the fact that hospital food is incredibly unhealthy, go figure. My meals consisted of things like fried fish, double cheeseburgers, and huge slices of pepperoni pizza. By the time my pregnancy was over at the 30 week point, I'd put on over 40 pounds.

Once I was home from the hospital, I didn't resume Atkins (I was pumping for Spencer and Atkins also isn't recommended during breastfeeding b/c it can impact your supply) but I did keep an eye on what I ate. The weight began moving down, slowly but surely. After my milk supply ran dry (I will always thank the awesome doctor that told me to take sudafed, a drug that is WELL known to dry up milk *sarcasm*), I got back on Atkins and dropped down to 179, which was a mere 2 pounds above my pre-pregnancy weight.

Then, in October of 2006, my step-mother was in a terrible car accident. My eating has spiraled out of control ever since and was on its way back up when I got pregnant with Jack (expectedly, this time, LOL) last June.

Man, oh man, did I have fun eating during my pregnancy! I even turned backwards on the scale at the doctor's office so I didn't have to see the damage (my midwife didn't weigh me). Looking back, I had to have gained at LEAST 50 pounds.

In the immediate 8 weeks or so after his birth, I didn't change anything. I didn't want to affect my milk supply, of course. And I couldn't exercise b/c I couldn't leave Jack. He wouldn't take a bottle and, if he got hungry, Jake would be SOL on feeding him. Excuses, excuses. And I actually GAINED weight while breastfeeding! Looking at pictures of me from a few days postpartum and then again at my sister's wedding, which was 8 weeks later, you can see the weight gain in my face. When I figured it out, I couldn't believe it.

So I decided it was time to take action. I did Weight Watchers back before my wedding in 2003 and thought it was terrible. I was hungry all the time and it took forever for me to lose any weight. But I knew they had a program tailored to breastfeeding mothers, so I looked into it again, and a lot has changed.

Two weeks ago I joined. And, wow, do I love the program. In the first week, I lost a bit over 5 pounds (which will slow down as my body settles into the plan; it isn't typical to lose so much on a week to week basis). I'm also planning on joining a gym soon. When I did Atkins, I worked out about 6 days a week and loved it. I want to do that again.

Mondays are my weigh days and I'll probably keep track of my weight loss here each week (and hopefully get some measurements eventually too). I think being public will keep me honest.

The Value of a Mother

2009-09-11T18:12:00.002-05:00

Today I am faced with a question that I'm sure many "domestic engineers" have been faced with through the years: Am I worth less just because I don't work (or only work part time)?

Of course, I absolutely think I have immense value. I work part time, so I am able to contribute financially to our household, no matter how meager my wage. ;-) And I'm lucky enough to work for a Mother's Day Out program so both the boys come with me everyday. Because I only work 26 hours a week, I still consider myself a stay-at-home mom for the most part. I carry most of the child rearing and housekeeping roles.

So with all of this, why was I told this afternoon that everyday is a vacation day for me?

I, for one, do not feel like everyday is a vacation day. Vacation implies relaxation and, hopefully, a beach. Sure, I get spurts of down time, but they usually occur in 10-15 minute increments. Certainly not the mecca of relaxation that my partner apparently feels I experience on a daily basis.

Where do I go from here? I feel, well, I guess I don't know how I feel. What does one do when they realize they aren't valued like they should be? The answer escapes me at this moment.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-09-09T16:35:00.001-05:00

Our Family Bed

2009-09-01T17:02:00.002-05:00

There are a lot of names for what we do. Some call it the family bed. Others call it co-sleeping. I just call it having the baby in the bed.

For me, this is the epitome of lazy parenting. ;-) Our decision to put Jack in the bed with us from the day of this birth was twofold: we didn't really have the space for a crib and I didn't want to have to schlep to another room (or even across our room, to be honest) to get him for night feedings. By virtue of the fact that we planned to exclusively breastfeed (big success on that front!), I would be doing all the feedings at night. Additionally, breastfed babies tend to eat more often at night and need night feedings through the first year. That meant that not only would I be doing all the night feedings, I'd be doing a lot of them. Co-sleeping meant that I could simply roll over, latch Jack on, and drift back off to sleep.

For the most part, my pre-Jack idea of what co-sleeping would entail has been spot on. I know he still wakes up in the night, but I have no idea how many times a night or when those wakings occur. Every morning, I have a vague idea that I may have been woken, but my recollections tend to be spotty and blurry at best.

I don't think I know Jake's true feelings on the matter. He's been, theoretically, on board since the beginning, but I am getting the feeling that he may be falling out of love with the actuality of it. Several times in the past month he's mentioned being kicked by Jack at night or needing a bigger bed. Of course, I think he's A) a pansy and B) crazy. I try to treat the bed space like the Chinese treat unauthorized second children: Jack doesn't get his own bed ration, he shares mine. I do my best to make sure that Jake gets a wide berth at night, but of course I have no idea what is actually happening at 3 am. I'm asleep. :-D

I am hoping that we can continue the co-sleeping until Jack is about a year old. My ultimate goal is to get the boys bunk beds and transition Jack to the bottom bunk sometime next spring. If things go my way, I'll still be able to go sleep with Jack part of the night if he needs me. That way Jake gets a really wide berth.

Welcome To My Sty!

2009-08-28T11:08:00.003-05:00

Jake and I had a row this week. (Watch for my cool new British slang! I've been reading a lot of British chick lit and it is seeping into my vocabulary, lol.)

At work, we've phased back into our 26 hour a week schedule. That means I'm working 6.5 hours, 4 days a week. It may not sound like a lot to those of you who work a full 40 hour week, but it is a relatively demanding job. I'm solely responsible for 4 babies and it is hard work! By the end of most days, I'm sweating and have gotten a pretty fair leg workout b/c I've been swaying and bouncing so much of the day.

Then I come home to more responsibilities, namely caring for Jack and Spencer, cooking dinner, and doing any housework that needs to be done.

Jake is really good help when it comes to the boys and dinner, but the housework is a point of contention. (Hi honey! I love you!)

He maintains that if the house isn't going to look like a showroom, like a picture in a magazine, all the time, that there is no point in cleaning it. The house is either clean (like spotlessly clean) or it is dirty. There is no middle ground.

I'm of the mind that a house can be dirty, messy, or clean. And clean doesn't necessarily mean magazine clean. A house can be clean but still have a bit of clutter. That doesn't make it dirty per se, just messy. I guess I feel there is a whole spectrum of house cleanliness options while Jake sees that there are only two.

So this weekend, I'm going to do my best to get the house in better shape. It'll probably be difficult, Jake has already told me he is going to work tomorrow, but I'm going to give it a fair shot. Hopefully I can get Jake on board to help. ;-)

I leave you with a pic of my sweet boys. I tried to get a picture of them together and this is the best I got. If one was looking at the camera and smiling, it was inevitable that the other was looking away, blinking, or just generally looked goofy.

Oh what a beautiful morning!

2009-08-22T10:40:00.002-05:00

I am feeling really blessed by this weather today! The people in north central Arkansas are sure getting a treat; I don't think we typically see such cool weather until late September!

Jake and Spencer were up and out early this morning to go visit Ama (that would be Jake's mother), so Jack and I went to the farmer's market. As soon as I set foot outside, I thought I should've put Jack in some pants.

The goods at the market seemed kind of scarce today. Probably a byproduct of both the late time we arrived (after 10) and the lateness of the season. Seems like there are fewer and fewer vegetables every time we go. But I've really gotten quite fond of buying baked goods there; Spencer frequently gets a muffin or cookie when we go, I've gotten Jake a pie before, and I picked up some delicious zucchini bread today.

Also on the agenda for the day is a trip to the library (I've got a book that is overdue by at least 6 months) and a voyage to the bookstore. I'm pretty sure I'm single-handedly keeping Hastings in business at this point. I've taken to reading while nursing Jack, so I'm going through quite a few books. Since he's been born, I've read the Twilight series twice (4 books in the series), books 6 and 7 in the Harry Potter series, books 1 and 2 in the Wicked series, and all 5 books in the Shopaholic series. I don't know what I'm going to get at the bookstore today.

Happy Birthday, Jake!

2009-08-16T23:22:00.003-05:00

Jake is 27 today. Check out his cake. What a fire hazard! LOL

Things I Love

2009-08-13T17:24:00.001-05:00

Here is the much more positive sequel to the "Things I Hate" posting some days ago. I went to Branson yesterday and bought both the boy's clothes for fall and winter and, to top it off, Jack is taking a (much needed) PHENOMENAL nap. Those things put me in a very positive mood. ;-)

1. My Boys
Yes, both these pictures are old, but I didn't have anything better! I don't think I need to elaborate on this point.

2. Coconut Anything
Cakes, pies, drinks, anything coconut smelling....you name it, odds are I'll love it! I make a cake with cream of coconut poured down in it and it is freaking awesome.

3. A Clean House
I sure love the feeling of walking into a clean house. However, this is something I almost never have. Between playing with, feeding, and generally chasing the boys around all day, in addition to having a dog that seems to blow his coat year round, there just isn't enough time in the day. One day, I'll have at least a housekeeper to come scrub my toilets. *wistful sigh*

4. Mowing the Lawn
Jake is absolutely convinced that I am lying through my teeth every single time I say I love mowing the grass. Yet, he can't figure out WHY I lie about it. That's because I don't. I, seriously, love mowing the grass. It makes me feel like I've really accomplished something and I feel like I get some exercise while doing it. Love it.

5. Animals
You name it, I probably love it. Just ask Jake about the time Catch, our fierce hunter cat, brought in a bunny. I couldn't stand to see the bunny hurt, bleeding, or dead, so I called him home to deal with it while I hid in our bonus room. (The bunny managed to find and hide out in a cup and ended up being just fine, btw.) And I've hauled many a caught bird to the vet's office (but they all seem to expire before I can get there :-( ). I am an animal lover through and through.

6. Target
Known to some as the "hundred dollar store," it is probably my favorite place to shop. Need some clothes for the boys? Breastfeeding supplies? Cat litter? Dog food? Target's got you covered. And with better quality than other big box stores.

Of course, those aren't all the things I love, but a pretty fair representation I'd say. :-)

A Little Rock Kind of Day

2009-08-01T14:24:00.002-05:00

Today is one of those days when I wish we still lived in North Little Rock.

In the city of Mountain Home, if it is raining, blisteringly hot, or cold, you are SOL for things to do. Unless, of course, you are rich enough to own a boat. Then you can go out on the lake in the heat. Unfortunately, I'm not one of those people.

Today, it is raining. I can think of about a million things we could be doing in Little Rock. We could cruise Target or the mall. We could go to The Wonder Place for the boys to play. Heck, we could even go to the McDonald's Play Place for them to play! We could go to the Children's Museum or the Clinton Presidential Center. We have no such places here. We are pretty much stuck inside. And if you know Spencer, you know being stuck inside is not a good way to be.

(And, yes, I've tried to convince him to go play in the rain, but we can't find his other rain boot and he's refusing to go without them. *sigh*)

It is days like these that I yearn for the city. Or at least, the bigger city. I think Jake would be content to stay here for the rest of his life. I think I would go crazy if I had to.

Things I Hate

2009-07-30T15:30:00.005-05:00

I read a blog that does a "things I love/things I hate" segment periodically and I really find it funny. Since I've been stranded in teething hell for the last two days, I'm kind of in a negative mood. Hence the "Things I Hate" title.

1. Teething

Don't let this smiley face fool you. The last two days have been fraught with screaming. If it isn't teething, I'm afraid I may have to call the Catholic Church and demand a priest be sent out to preform an exorcism.

2. Fevers

Spencer has been plagued with something viral for the last few days and I am over.it. I am grateful that Jake took the brunt of dealing with his illness overnight.

3. Misbehaving Dogs

Not our actual dog

Turns out that him digging in the trash (yes, he's figured out how to get the lid off the trashcan) is the least of our problems. He also eats all the food off the counter and poops in the garage (which leaves our house with a beautiful eau de poop smell). I came home this afternoon to find he'd eaten the last brownie off the stove. The brownie I was saving for after the boys went to bed tonight. Nice.

4. Staying Home

I am d.y.i.n.g. to go somewhere. Specifically, I'm dying to go to the Pacific Northwest (although I hear they are having a heatwave now, so I'll wait until their temps settle back down to normal). I've always wanted to go. In fact, when Jake and I took our Alaska trip in 2004 one of the places we toyed with going was Seattle. Well, I've wanted to go ever since. My desire has been exacerbated as of late since Jake is en route to Ft. Lewis (via Seattle) as I type. Of course, the fact that Forks (which is where the Twilight story takes place) is a mere 2 hours from Seattle has nothing to do with it. ;-)

I think that, at this moment, those are all the things I hate. The list is constantly rotating, though, so I may have to come back and add more later.

God Love PBS <3

2009-07-20T11:41:00.002-05:00

Because I sure do.

I tend to think of myself as an environmentalist. I'm not the perfect environmentalist; I forget my re-usable bags sometimes and use plastic baggies way more than I should. But I do what I can in this day and age to reduce my family's impact.

There is a show on PBS called "Superwhy" in which the characters try to solve problems by changing around stories from books. It really is a cute little show. One episode focuses on a little frog named Tiddalick. He lives in the (I assume) Australian Outback alongside a kangaroo and a koala (I think). When it rains, all the holes fill up with water and everyone generally gets some to use for whatever they need. The kangaroo wants to take a bath and brush her teeth while the koala wants to water his plants. Tiddalick likes to play in the water and, so the story goes, jumps in all of it, wasting it, so that his neighbors don't get any.

So the neighbors have to go over with Tiddalick why this is a bad idea, to waste all the water. Apparently, Spencer has really internalized this message (and I know I've mentioned wasting water a time or two).

A moment ago, I was loading the dishwasher. I was about to put something down the disposal and had the water running. Spencer runs in, sees the water running and shouts, "Mommy, I think you're wasting water!!" What a chip off the old block. ;-)

Friday Fun

2009-07-17T13:15:00.005-05:00

Just some videos to perk up a Friday. TGIF! Jake has been in Little Rock doing his Army thing since Wednesday and took Spencer down to visit my grandparents while he worked. They'll be home in 2 days; I can't wait!

Wordless Wednesday

2009-07-08T16:44:00.002-05:00

No One Cries Alone In Jack's Presence

2009-07-07T17:31:00.003-05:00

Maternity leave officially came to a close today. I am so grateful to my wonderful boss and co-workers that made it possible for me to take a full 4 months off work to tend to my new babe.

I'm a firm believer that one of the biggest reasons breastfeeding rates are so dismal is because women in this country aren't granted decent maternity benefits. If I was Canadian, I'd be getting 60% of my pay for a full year. (Well, I probably wouldn't as I only worked part time, but you get the drift.) That is amazing! As a veteran pumper (with Spencer), I know first hand how bad it sucks (pun intended, ha!) to not only have to set aside time to pump, but then you actually have to feed the baby and wash all the bottles and pump parts. It is super time consuming. And to top it off, some women don't respond to a pump very well so it is possible that, upon returning to work, their supply will drop off dramatically.

But, I digress. This blog topic is not supposed to be about the US's craptastic maternity benefits.

It is, however, about my first day back to work.

I am so fortunate to work at a place where I can bring my kids. Spencer spent all of last school year with me as his teacher and will be moving up to the 4 year old room this year. For my return, I made a deal with my boss that moves me from working with 3 year olds all day to working in the baby room.

This is a huge plus for me and Jack alike. I don't have to swap classes with anyone when he's hungry and I certainly don't have to worry about pumping. He still gets to hang out with mommy all day and can still pretty much nurse as much as he wants, when he wants.

However, for one baby in class, today was a very bad day.

Cole is one of the sweetest babies you'll ever know. He just turned one and is usually a barrel of smiles and giggles. His mother, Kibbin, has worked in the baby room since he was a newborn, so he is used to being with her all day. All the pleasures that Jack is now enjoying used to be Cole's.

Kibbin has relocated to the 3 year old room now. She has another son who is 3 and she'll be spending this year with him. But this is very black news indeed for Mr. Cole.

Cole spent most of today in tears. There was nothing I could do. I wasn't his mommy and that's what the poor guy wanted. If he couldn't have mommy, nothing else would do. He decided that he would just lay on me and cry, cry, and cry some more. As I held him, he cried. If I put him down, he cried harder. Maybe some food would help? More tears ensued. I could not make him happy.

Jack was dazed and confused by this noise, to be sure. He is actually pretty sensitive to noise and is a VERY light sleeper. I feel terrible at the number of times a day I have to "shush" Spencer (I'll contribute to his therapy bill for that, I'm sure), but Jack wakes up at some of the smallest sounds you can imagine.

So when poor Cole realized his mommy was gone, GONE!, he started to cry. And in response, Jack started to cry. Liam even cried a little, but sweet little Lucy managed to maintain her composure through it all. Thank goodness for Lucy.

When Cole would stop crying for a minute, so would Jack. But when Cole started back up, so would Jack. At one point during the morning, I had Cole straddling my left leg with his head on my chest and Jack straddling my right leg with his head on my chest. They both fell asleep that way, I wish I'd have had a camera.

I managed to get Jack into a bouncer w/o waking him up, but the minute Cole's body touched the crib sheets he was awake and forlorn once again. And so was Jack.

We went on like this until around 11:30. Cole finally zonked out and Jack, after a very fretful nursing session, did the same. And they both slept, along with Lucy, for quite a while. I took Liam with me out into the hall to have lunch and a break.

Jack missed his morning nap due to all the chaos and spent about 2 hours asleep in the swing. Cole woke up after a little over an hour and, since the 3 year olds were napping, got some quality snuggle time with mommy in the hall.

Really, it was a good day. Hopefully Cole will be a bit more used to me by next week and we won't have so much sadness in our little part of the world. That's my goal: less sadness, more sleep. ;-)

No Poo

2009-07-01T09:54:00.002-05:00

And it isn't what it sounds like! ;-)

I stumbled across a thread on one of the forums I frequent about doing no poo (AKA not using shampoo). I was only mildly intrigued at first, but as I continued to read about various experiences with this method I became very interested. The women who do this method swear that their hair is so much nicer and easier to manage. Goodness knows I could use some easy to manage hair, especially dealing with it in the southern summers. The humidity brings havoc to my hair, making it stick up in about 800 different directions. There is nothing I've discovered, so far, that can tame it. I figured this was worth a shot.

I looked up a bunch of different no poo sites to see what the recommendations were. Most people do a "wash" with baking soda and water and then "condition" with vinegar and something that smells good to cover the vinegar scent (vanilla and cinnamon were what I went with).

So yesterday I mixed up two different bowls of stuff and headed for the shower. (As a side note, you should really not mix with cold water. Quite the shock when you pour it on your head.)

I put the baking soda mixture on my hair, massaging it into the roots, and left it for a few minutes. After rinsing (another aside, don't let that mixture run into your mouth. Yuck.) that out, I put the vinegar mixture on. After rinsing it off, I could actually tell that my hair had been conditioned, although it certainly didn't feel like it would with a commercial conditioner.

The real test was going to be drying and flat ironing it. But, remarkably, I couldn't tell a difference once my hair was all done.

The no pooers say that it takes your hair several days to scale back oil production. Apparently, commercial shampoos strip the natural oils from your hair so your body goes into oil super drive. I haven't noticed an overabundance of oil yet, but I'm on the lookout.

So today is day 3 of no poo. After a few weeks I hope to have pictures.

(And, yes, Jake thinks I'm crazy. I told him I'd buy him a bottle of Pert Plus. LOL)

Happy Anniversary to Me!

2009-06-20T16:38:00.004-05:00

6 years ago today, at the ripe old age of 20, I married my best friend.

Jake graduated from basic training the day that we invaded Iraq and, even though he was a reservist, I knew eventually he'd probably be pulled to go. Jake kind of wanted to wait to get married, but I told him I wouldn't "shack up" with him beyond the summer.

"Marry me this summer, or I'm going to book a dorm room."

I guess he loved me enough that he didn't want me all of a quarter mile away at the dorms. And, seriously, who are we kidding? I would've never been able to stay in a dorm while he had a cozy apartment within walking distance of campus.

It has been a wild ride of a marriage, I'll tell you that much. We have been through some crazy stuff! But I wouldn't have it any other way.

Ch-ch-ch-changes!

2009-06-16T11:26:00.002-05:00

I spent most of this morning scouring the interwebs for a new blog layout. I started out looking for someone to do a custom layout, but those get really expensive pretty quickly. Turns out there are quite a few free layouts ripe for the picking, you just have to sort through 1.7 million of them until you find the one you like.

I'm not totally pleased with this one, mainly b/c of the nice advertising stripe across the top. Of course, I get it. If you pick up something for free, expect it to be stamped with an ad for the person who created it. But I still don't like the location.

If this layout proves hard to read or something, please comment and let me know. I don't want anyone suing me for damages b/c they got eye strain.

A Woman Obsessed

2009-06-04T14:31:00.003-05:00

For a long time, I thought it was beneath me. Something teenagers were doing. I thought I wouldn't like it, or that it wouldn't interest me.

But I slipped. I slipped, and the obsession took hold. And it turns out, there are a lot of adults who are totally into it. Who waste their days thinking about it. Who read blogs talking about it.

Yes, everyone, I am a Twi-hard.

What is a Twi-hard, you ask? Well, its very simple. I have fallen prey to the saga they call Twilight. Never read it? Unless you want the obsession to take you over as well, stay far away.

I've become a total fan girl. I have 4 Twilight blogs that I check daily, although none of the authors "know" me (I did email one today about something *shame*). Multiple times a day I check newmoonmovie.org, which houses information on the next Twilight movie, New Moon. If poor Jake thinks we won't be schlepping to the movie theater opening weekend in November, he is sadly mistaken.

I find myself wanting to buy shirts with witty Twilight sayings or pictures of the cast on them. I actually bought Jack a Twilight diaper last week. A $34 Twilight diaper. ONE diaper. And now I don't want him to use it b/c it will get ruined! Where's the logic in that! Its a diaper! You can certainly bet that I'd have been stalking the Twilight set with other Twi-hards if I happened to be in Vancouver during filming.

In all honesty, I pretty much do the same thing with all things Harry Potter. When Spencer was a baby, he had Harry Potter longies and I intend to make some for Jack this winter as well. But I don't know if I'll be able to resist also buying the boys "Twilight Orphan" t-shirts to go along with all the Gryffindor stuff.

So, now I leave you. I feel better now that I'm "out." Jack is asleep and I'm re-reading Twilight for the 3rd time.

Oodles of stuff

2009-05-23T21:40:00.005-05:00

Man, do I have a bunch of stuff to blog about tonight! Thank goodness both the boys are snoozing so I have the time. ;-)

First off, happy birthday to my big 4 year old! You read right, my little 2 pound, 14 ounce shrimp is 4 years old today. That sounds too old, but I guess every mother must feel like that when her kid gains another year. I'm sure my poor father and mother are just cringing that I'll be 27 on my next birthday (golly, when did I get so old???).

I have a hard time believing that my spunky little guy has been around for 4 whole years. What a nightmare it was to get him here! The situation surrounding his birth affected my life in such a profound way that I cannot even put it into words. He is sure worth every bit of it though.

Pics from his little preschool party and video of his birthday song:

In other news, the wee one (that would be Jack) is cracking Jake and me up with his giggling. He's started belly laughing which is just about the cutest thing ever. I managed to get it on video tonight. PLEASE ignore my baby talking. If it wasn't for that I couldn't get him to do it and entertain the masses. I'd claim that the sound of my voice makes him laugh, but you should see Jack giggling for Jake. I can't decide who is cuter sometimes, Jack or Jake!

Baby woke up, so I must go nurse him back down. Think I'll join him in sleeping this time. LOL

Healing and Other Musings

2009-05-01T15:48:00.000-05:00

I always thought that a second pregnancy would make or break me mentally. Even though I didn't show it too much, the time after Spencer's birth was very hard for me. And, like many mothers of premature babies, I had the desire to have another baby as soon as possible. A chance, perhaps, to do things the "right" way. To not feel so broken or like a failure.

Well, my "as soon as possible" wasn't until over 3 years later. It turns out you need a willing partner for baby making. Who would've thought? LOL

My pregnancy with Jack was one of many emotions.

The first I found myself feeling was terrified. All I could do was run the complications I had with Spencer through my head. And what would I do this time when it wasn't possible for me to curl up in a hospital bed for 10 weeks? I had a 3 year old to take care of! The middle of my pregnancy was the worst since that's when the complications hit with Spencer.

And then something wonderful happened: nothing. And with every week I made it past the 20th, I felt more and more relaxed. I felt better able to enjoy the pregnancy for what it was. After the passage of the 24th week, I took a deep, deep breath and knew my baby would have a fighting chance. After the 28th week, I was elated because I knew my baby would not only live, but have a good life. After the 30th week, I knew what to expect if he was born, but at the same time I finally had the confidence to say I thought I would go the distance.

My pregnancy with Jack healed me in so many ways. I no longer feel like my body failed Spencer. For so long, people told me that it was a fluke, but I didn't truly believe them. I felt flawed, like I couldn't do the one thing women's bodies are supposed to do.

I know now that my body is strong. Not only did it carry my beautiful, 9 pound boy to exactly the right time, but it birthed him without problem or complication. I would easily say it was one of the most memorable moments of my life. His birth left me feeling strong, like I could do anything.

So thank you Jack for healing me. Thank you Jake for being there through the craziness and always having faith that things were going to be just fine. And thank you Spencer for doing your best to keep my mind off of it!

Lookit that belly!

2009-04-29T17:24:00.001-05:00

I'm not used to having a kiddo with a tummy so round and squishy!

Better late than never.

2009-03-12T16:54:00.004-05:00

Baby Jack is here!

Born 3.5 @ 9:51 pm after a 28 hour drug free labor

9 pounds, 21.25 inches

VBAC homebirth!

It was seriously one of the most empowering things I've ever experienced, and I would bet all the money in my checking account that I could never have done it at the hospital. Being tethered to the bed would've been absolutely miserable.

Jake is calling me to nurse the baby, so I'll be back with pics soon.

T-H-O-M-A-S

2009-03-02T20:10:00.001-06:00

Jake posted the video with no commentary, so I felt the urge to add some.

I took Spencer to the doctor today and they were discussing Spencer's Thomas train. The doctor made a comment that Thomas' name was on the bottom and Spencer flipped it over and nonchalantly did what you see in the video. My eyes almost popped out of my head. I had no idea he could identify all those letters!

I'm a proud mommy today. :-)

2009-03-02T17:48:00.003-06:00